As a 37-year-old mom of two, I have a little secret: I often feel like I’m just pretending to navigate adulthood. Despite my best efforts—making grocery lists, managing dentist appointments, and trimming tiny nails—I can’t shake the feeling that I’m unqualified to manage my own life, let alone the lives of the two little ones I share my world with. Here are some signs that I might just be faking it through adulthood:
1. Ironing is Not My Thing
I’ve never been one to iron. After dragging my ironing board through multiple moves, I finally gifted it to my brother, who actually understands the concept. My go-to methods involve tossing clothes in the dryer with a damp washcloth or hanging them in the bathroom while I shower. I mean, I shop at Target—how wrinkled can a cotton tank really get?
2. Dry Cleaning? No Thanks!
Isn’t dry cleaning a rite of passage for adults? I can’t seem to make that leap. I cringe when I buy anything labeled “Dry Clean Only.” I end up wearing it multiple times before finally shoving it in the back of my closet, making empty promises to take it to the cleaners. Spoiler alert: it rarely happens.
3. Fear of Bees and Wasps
One summer, while enjoying a drink outside, a wasp landed on my bottle. I panicked like a character in a sitcom, tossing the bottle in the air and watching it break. Adults are supposed to handle these situations calmly, right? I guess I missed that memo.
4. Balloon Anxiety
I can’t tie a knot in a balloon, much to my embarrassment. Plus, I’m terrified of them popping—my oldest inherited this fear. You know that party game where you sit on a balloon? Yeah, that’s a hard pass for us.
5. Doubts About Parenting Choices
When my kids ask questions, I often look around to see if someone else is better suited to answer. Can they watch another show? Eat a popsicle? Go to a sleepover? I feel like their babysitter rather than their parent, just someone who happened to give birth to them.
6. Champagne? Let Someone Else Open It!
When it comes to uncorking champagne, I prefer to pass the task to someone else. I avoid the whole process, especially those fancy corkscrews that seem to require a degree in caveman skills. Nope, not for me.
7. Directionally Challenged
Navigating malls and parking lots can induce a mini panic attack for me. I often find myself swearing and sometimes tearing up while trying to find my way.
8. Out of Touch With News
I’ve fallen behind on current events. When others discuss politics or recent news, I just nod along, pretending to know what they’re talking about. Honestly, I can never remember what fracking is either.
9. Behind on Popular Shows
We’re perpetually a decade late on must-see TV. We just wrapped up Breaking Bad and are finally diving into House of Cards. I’ve managed to avoid Mad Men and Downton Abbey entirely, and I bailed on The Walking Dead after the first episode’s zombie kid reveal.
10. Chopsticks? No Way!
Using chopsticks feels more like an embarrassing challenge than a skill I should have.
On my tougher days, I remind myself that I bring unique value to my family and community, even if I can quote obscure ’80s films or draft strongly worded letters to companies. I can’t be the only one experiencing “Adult Imposter Syndrome,” right? Let’s support each other in this journey.
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Summary
Feeling like an imposter in adulthood is more common than you might think. From avoiding household chores like ironing and dry cleaning to struggling with parenting decisions, many of us can relate to the humorous challenges of adulting. Remember, it’s okay to feel out of your depth sometimes, and you’re definitely not alone in this journey.