Yesterday, I was at a mother-and-child class with my little ones when an older mom strolled into our group of friends in their early 30s, discussing weekend plans. When the topic of a 30th birthday celebration was brought up, she took a deep breath and smiled. “You all are so young,” she chuckled. “I feel like such an old lady.”
While she wasn’t an old lady by any means, she was clearly past 40, and I felt a twinge of sympathy. Here we were, still basking in the joys of youth, while she seemed to be engaging with an older crowd. But that was eight years ago. Now, I find myself on the other side of 40, observing youthful moms pushing strollers and securing their little ones in car seats. Time has flown by, leaving its marks on my face, in the lines that don’t fade when I stop smiling, and in the silver strands peeking through my hair. It’s the children who can now fend for themselves and those pesky backaches that greet me when I stand.
But let me set the record straight for all those young ones out there. Don’t pity me—I’m having more fun than you can imagine. Any wild or unconventional thing I might do, which some might label a midlife crisis, is simply not the case. Let me share a little story.
When I was 9 years old, my dad, Charlie, came home one day sporting a massive cowboy hat. We lived in the bustling borough of Staten Island, known for its distinct flavor of Italian cuisine and, yes, its infamous landfill. Suddenly, my Brooklyn-born father was all about country music, filling his car with Johnny Cash tapes. He swapped his stylish velour tracksuits for flashy cowboy shirts complete with snaps and bold patterns. The neighborhood promptly dubbed him “Cowboy Charlie,” and we all shared a good laugh over his antics, which we assumed were indicative of a midlife crisis.
Fast forward a few decades. A few years ago, as I approached my 39th birthday, I found myself gravitating towards hip-hop and rediscovering my love for grunge music. Around the same time, I decided to get that tattoo I had always wanted. Actually, I ended up with a few tattoos, and I began wearing fitted tops to showcase them. My shorts became a bit shorter during the summer as I embraced my body, and I slipped back into heels—no longer needing to carry a baby on my hip. I even leased a convertible, which we jokingly refer to as my “midlife car,” and I drive down the street blasting hip-hop music, feeling fabulous in my short shorts and heels. I distanced myself from people who brought negativity into my life and started planning fun nights out with friends.
This was not a cry for help. My younger self might have labeled it a midlife crisis, and even my mom asked if I was okay. But it’s much simpler than that. I simply wanted to do those things—not out of boredom or a fear of aging, but simply because they brought me joy.
If you’re fortunate, hitting middle age brings a clearer perspective. You still feel young but recognize the importance of pursuing what truly makes you happy. You start to care less about others’ opinions and prioritize time with those who uplift you. You understand that while there’s plenty of life ahead, it’s not infinite. Reflecting on my childhood, I realize my dad was simply indulging in what made him happy—not because of his age, but despite it.
When you reach a stage where you release the weight of others’ judgments and eliminate toxic influences from your life, that’s when the real fun begins. So please, don’t feel sorry for me; I’m just getting started.
And whatever you choose to call my newfound enjoyment, be it a midlife crisis or something else entirely, I really couldn’t care less!
For more insights on navigating parenthood and the joys of self-discovery, check out this post. If you’re interested in fertility and wellness, Make a Mom is a great resource. You can also find valuable information about pregnancy at Genetics and IVF Institute.
Summary
Embracing life after 40 can be a joyous experience filled with self-discovery and personal growth. It’s not about having a midlife crisis, but rather pursuing passions that bring happiness and fulfillment. As time passes, letting go of societal expectations and toxic relationships leads to a more vibrant and liberated existence.