Parenting can be a journey filled with surprises, especially when raising children on the autistic spectrum. I have two daughters, Lily and Jamie, who each face unique challenges in social situations.
Before Lily received her autism diagnosis, many people described her as “just shy” or “very serious.” Large gatherings often overwhelmed her, and she needed time to adjust to new faces. Although she tends to shy away from physical affection, when she does express it, it’s truly heartwarming.
At just four years old, Lily came home from kindergarten puzzled about a classmate wanting to hold her hand during a song. When I asked her about it, she explained, “I don’t know her well, so I don’t want her touching me.” It was a straightforward response that resonated with me.
In contrast, Jamie is a whirlwind of social energy. Before her diagnosis, many insisted that she couldn’t possibly be autistic because she was “too social.” Jamie thrives on human interaction, often approaching strangers at the library and asking them to read her stories. Her affectionate nature and ability to make friends easily make her a beloved figure in our community.
It may seem perplexing how two children with such distinct personalities can both be on the autism spectrum. The secret lies in understanding that being an introvert or extrovert has no bearing on autism. It’s much like being left or right-handed. While Lily’s obstacles often stem from navigating friendships, Jamie grapples with respecting personal boundaries and understanding appropriate social behaviors. For Lily, friendships involve complicated rules that can be dizzying, while Jamie doesn’t yet comprehend that not everyone is comfortable with her spontaneous approach to closeness.
Many social interactions that come naturally to neurotypical individuals can be quite challenging for those on the spectrum. Simple tasks like comforting someone in distress or responding to kindness can require significant thought and effort, which can be daunting.
Teaching social norms can be a delicate process. With Lily, we often use “comic strip conversations” to clarify social scenarios and help her recognize the feelings of others. I’ve found certain books beneficial for her, offering simplified concepts and tools she can utilize when navigating social situations.
Jamie, on the other hand, is learning about emotions and how our words can impact others. We enjoy watching shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, where each episode presents relatable social stories covering everything from eating habits to managing feelings. Jamie has also benefited from understanding personal space through visual aids like hula hoops, which we use during outdoor meals.
It’s critical to remember that traits like being “shy” or “outgoing” do not define autism. Individuals on the spectrum can embody both ends of this social spectrum. If only there was more awareness surrounding these misconceptions about autism, many would see the beauty in diversity.
I see the unique qualities in both Lily and Jamie. They are truly remarkable.
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In summary, the journey of parenting children on the autism spectrum can be filled with unique challenges and joys. Understanding that autism encompasses a wide range of social behaviors can help dispel myths and foster acceptance.