“You’ll regret it for the rest of your life,” my mother said, shaking her head as she walked away after I eagerly unveiled my first tattoo. It was a vibrant butterfly, adorned in orange, yellow, and red, resting on my sun-kissed right shoulder. I had just returned from a solo journey through Europe at 22, and I felt unstoppable.
“What’s going to happen when you enter the professional world?” my mother called out from the kitchen.
“I’m not destined for a professional life!” I shot back, tossing my heavy backpack to the floor and kicking off my Birkenstocks. As it turned out, she wasn’t entirely wrong. I spent several years as a lawyer, yet that cheerful butterfly never interfered with my work. For me, it symbolizes a crucial chapter of my life—a reminder of the adventurous spirit that roamed freely through cities, embracing spontaneity and delighting in the independence that came with traveling solo.
Those months were transformative; I discovered who I truly was. I could go days without chatting with anyone or strike up conversations with new friends in different languages. Most importantly, I learned to appreciate my own company as I climbed the Belfry in Bruges, sampled shellfish in Bergen, or inhaled the sweet scent of tulips in Amsterdam—where I got that butterfly tattoo (and yes, I was sober… for that hour, at least).
I cherish the memories of backpacking through Europe at 22, and I carry that version of myself with me always through the ink on my shoulder. Even now, at 44, I smile at the faded yet lively butterfly every morning. “Hello, adventurous spirit,” I whisper to myself. “Let’s make the most of today.” I’ve never regretted getting that tattoo.
My Second Tattoo
My second tattoo came just a week before my marriage at 30. My husband, Jake, and I decided to exchange tattoos as wedding gifts. “Why not stick with traditional jewelry?” my mother quipped. We tied the knot just two months after 9/11, a time filled with emotion that influenced our decisions. I chose a butterfly decorated with stars and stripes, located on my left hip (and yes, that one stung!).
It’s often said that tattoos representing relationships can be risky due to their permanence. Sadly, after a decade, my marriage did end in divorce. Yet, I’ve never felt sorrow over this tattoo. My ex-husband and I parted ways amicably, maintaining a friendship and co-parenting our wonderful 9-year-old son. I respect Jake, and I don’t regret our marriage nor the tattoo that commemorates our time together. Although our union didn’t last, the good parts—like our son and our friendship—remain, and I’m perfectly fine with a tattoo that honors those memories.
Additionally, my second tattoo serves as a reminder of the unity and resilience our country exhibited during a challenging time. I felt immense pride in being an American after 9/11, a sentiment I wanted to capture. Interestingly, my first tattoo symbolizes pride in my adventures abroad, while the second reflects my honor in being a citizen of my homeland. Now, at 44, I’m delighted to still have both tattoos, and they haven’t lost their vibrancy!
The Permanence of Tattoos
While many, including my mother, are wary of tattoos due to their permanent nature, that’s precisely why I love mine. In a world where so much is fleeting, the butterflies are a constant presence. I may not know where my photo albums from my travels or wedding are, nor can I predict if I’ll return to Europe or remarry. But I know my butterflies will always be with me.
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Summary
The author reflects on her tattoos, which represent significant life experiences and personal growth. The first tattoo, a butterfly from her travels in Europe, symbolizes independence and adventure, while the second, received before her marriage, reflects pride in her identity and the bond she shared with her ex-husband. Despite the ups and downs of life, she embraces the permanence of her tattoos as cherished reminders of her journey.