Despite holding three degrees in psychology and counseling, I find myself lacking the one qualification that parents often seek when looking for guidance: having children of my own. Friends and even acquaintances have always turned to me for support during their personal dilemmas. It seems I possess the unique ability to listen—a skill that’s both a blessing and, at times, a burden. Coupled with my analytical nature and love for challenges, it led me to pursue a career in counseling.
Over a decade ago, I made the decision to focus on child and adolescent psychology, interpersonal relations, and the complexities of addiction. Choosing to specialize in preteens and teenagers—an age group many of my peers found daunting—was a natural fit for me. I thrived on the challenge.
As an adolescent counselor, I spent years working with a diverse range of youth, from preteens to college athletes, facilitating process groups and teaching life skills. Collaborating with my supervisor, I helped over 300 students annually through a local university-funded in-school prevention program. My expertise earned me the trust of colleagues, but when it comes to parents, the reception is often lukewarm.
Despite my extensive experience and academic background, the one question parents consistently ask is, “Do you have kids?” When I respond with a simple “no,” it seems to invalidate all my knowledge and training. For many, it’s as if my insights become irrelevant because I lack the personal experience of raising children.
I can empathize with their perspective. I would likely hesitate to heed advice from someone like Cesar Millan about dog behavior if he didn’t have his own pets. Likewise, even the most educated addiction counselors may struggle to connect with clients if they haven’t personally faced similar battles. It’s a curious irony; practical experience often trumps theoretical knowledge.
Perhaps I should have ventured into the realm of pet psychology instead—yes, that’s a real field! But at 43, I’m not about to start a family just to gain credibility in parenting circles. Instead, I’ll continue to express my insights through writing, hoping that someone out there recognizes that although I may not have children, I once was a child. Surviving that chapter in life speaks volumes.
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In summary, while my academic credentials and years of experience provide a solid foundation, the absence of personal parenting experience often leads to skepticism from parents seeking guidance. I hope to bridge that gap through my writings, emphasizing that understanding childhood is rooted in having once been a child myself.