Do you find yourself counting the limited number of foods your child will eat on one hand? Are dinners a repetitive cycle of just a few go-to dishes? While it’s clear your child is a picky eater, research from Pediatrics, highlighted in the New York Times, reveals that “selective eating” can be associated with anxiety, depression, and ADHD.
This connection makes sense. Kids who experience anxiety may tend to be more cautious about trying new things—whether that’s different playground equipment or meeting new friends. Food is just another area where this reluctance manifests. The study’s lead author, Dr. Sarah Lawson, explains that picky eaters often have heightened sensitivity: “Their sensory experiences regarding taste, texture, and visual cues can be much more intense. Consequently, their feelings surrounding these foods may also be stronger.”
For instance, while a typical eater might munch on a stalk of celery without a second thought, a picky eater may be deterred by unfamiliar textures, opting instead for familiar comforts. Upon reading this, I thought, “That totally resonates with me.” I’ve dealt with anxiety, and my own dietary preferences lean towards meat, pasta, and bread—foods that offer a sense of comfort. Fruits and veggies, although some are enjoyable, can be hit or miss. Take strawberries in January, for example: overly sour for my taste, unlike the sweet peaches of summer.
For years, I believed my eating habits stemmed from my upbringing—a classic American diet heavy on meat and carbs. Yet perhaps it’s really about the sourness of strawberries or the texture of broccoli that doesn’t provide the same soothing satisfaction as a grilled cheese sandwich on a chilly day.
While my sons appear well-adjusted and social, they share my passion for grilled cheese and tomato soup, making it a challenge to introduce new foods. I’ve often felt guilty about my perceived shortcomings in getting them to enjoy greens and fruits. We follow the division of responsibility approach advocated by Ellyn Satter: I choose what’s for dinner, and they select what to eat from their plates, without pressure or negotiation.
This strategy has worked reasonably well, but the reality remains that they prefer carbs and meat over fruits and veggies. The recent study has alleviated some of my guilt, reminding me that it’s not just about exposure to different flavors; some children simply have different taste preferences, and that’s okay.
Moreover, it’s a wake-up call that parenting involves more than just isolated instances of mealtime battles. Dr. Laura Jana, a pediatrician, emphasizes that food is part of a broader developmental picture. As parents, our goal should be to raise children who are well-nourished, equipped with basic cooking skills, and who appreciate diverse foods. This process doesn’t happen overnight—it requires years of nurturing.
In the meantime, Dr. Jana advises maintaining the division of responsibility during meals and highlights the importance of family time over food itself. We should aim to cultivate a joyful mealtime atmosphere rather than fixating on what’s being eaten. So, even if it’s the third grilled cheese of the week, let’s drop the guilt and focus on togetherness.
For more insights on this topic, check out our other blog post here. If you’re interested in home insemination, you can find valuable information at Make a Mom. And for those curious about pregnancy, the World Health Organization provides excellent resources.
Summary
In summary, it’s essential to understand that picky eating may be linked to anxiety, and many children simply have different taste preferences. By focusing on the broader picture of parenting and mealtime joy, we can alleviate the guilt that often accompanies our children’s selective eating habits.