Infertility is increasingly becoming a topic of conversation. More and more individuals are realizing that it’s not merely a plot device in fairy tales—like the story of an elderly couple who wish on a flower and suddenly have a miraculous child. Couples facing fertility challenges are starting to voice their experiences, finding solace in the fact that they are not alone. It’s a significant issue that deserves attention.
My partner, Jake, and I are currently facing our own infertility struggles. Our first pregnancy felt like a stroke of luck, a surprise we discovered amidst a barrage of medical tests. Now, as we attempt to conceive again, we’ve been informed we have “unexplained infertility.” Without diving deeply into what that entails, let me just say it feels like a cloud of despair with no clear path to resolution—just uncertainty and hope.
Fortunately, I’ve had a solid support system, consisting of friends and family who have traversed similar paths. However, the most challenging aspect of this journey often comes from those who simply don’t understand. Here are ten types of people I find particularly difficult to deal with during this time:
1. The Textbook Experts
These well-meaning individuals love to consult Dr. Google or skim through standard medical texts on infertility, offering oversimplified advice. “You’ll probably get pregnant after your first child” or “If you’re ovulating, you’re fine.” It’s frustrating when even medical professionals dismiss your concerns, forgetting that every body is unique. Thankfully, that’s why fertility specialists exist.
2. The “Relax and It Will Happen” Guru
I want to roll my eyes at anyone who suggests I just need to chill out. When I voiced my concerns about our ongoing challenges, the response was often, “Oh, you’re just stressed! You need to relax.” Stress is a part of life. From unpaid bills to a toddler’s artistic endeavors with ketchup, my worries are valid. No yoga session is going to resolve serious infertility issues.
3. The Fate Believers
These individuals tend to attribute infertility to divine will, saying things like, “It’s meant to be.” Nothing is predetermined! Even the Pope encourages us to use the resources we have to make informed choices. Why should I passively accept this situation when there are options available, whether through medical intervention or adoption?
4. The Alternative Remedy Advocates
Some people fall prey to dubious advice during desperate times. “Drink this herbal tea three times a day and hop backward under a full moon; you’ll get pregnant.” Unfortunately, no amount of mystical practices will resolve infertility, and those who claim success are either lucky or misguided.
5. The “Have You Tried…” Crowd
This group often makes you feel as if your struggles stem from ignorance about basic reproductive biology. Yes, we’ve tried every position and method you can think of. No, I don’t need a detailed discussion about my husband’s anatomy.
6. The Forgetful Friends
You share your fertility struggles with these individuals, and they seem indifferent, offering a half-hearted “sorry.” Just days later, they’re asking if you’re expecting yet. It’s even worse when you mention important appointments, and they don’t bother to ask how they went.
7. The Overly Optimistic
These folks are on the lookout for any sign of pregnancy, but their excessive hope can be overwhelming. Sometimes, I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well, or my skin is breaking out because of a new product. Everyday symptoms can easily be mistaken for pregnancy signs, but the true indicator is a positive blood test from a doctor.
8. The Grateful Dread
Some people think that because someone is facing infertility, they should be grateful for what they already have. “You have one child already. Stop complaining; at least you have a roof over your head.” Just because I’m grappling with infertility doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful. Is it wrong to strive for my happiness?
9. The Fertile Friends
While it’s not their fault they don’t share the same struggles, some comments can be particularly irksome. Statements like, “If I can do it, so can you!” can feel dismissive of the real challenges faced by those dealing with infertility.
10. The “I Know Your Pain” Couples
These individuals often claim to understand your struggles, but their experiences are vastly different. “We tried for six months before conceiving; it was a real test for us.” Really? That hardly compares to the ongoing challenges of infertility.
Navigating infertility can be incredibly isolating, but recognizing the types of people you encounter can help you manage the emotional toll. For those looking for more information and resources, check out this insightful guide on treatments to broaden your understanding. Additionally, if you’re considering at-home options, this artificial insemination kit might be worth exploring. And if you’re seeking a supportive community as you explore your options, here’s another great resource that could offer some guidance.
In summary, while the journey through infertility can be challenging, recognizing the different types of responses we encounter can help us navigate this difficult terrain with resilience and insight.