The 8 (Real) Stages of Developing a Baby Belly Bump

Why do celebrities make pregnancy look so effortless? Seriously, can we put an end to that? They always appear stunning—every single moment. For me, though? Not quite. As a mother of two—one son and one daughter—I can assure you that my journey was far from all glamorous baby bumps and stylish maternity wear. There were definitely stages of “belly growth” I would have preferred to miss, and if you’ve ever given birth, you understand exactly what I mean.

Just like your little one goes through various developmental milestones, your belly embarks on its own rollercoaster ride.

Stage One

I’m pregnant!! Time to dive into all the tips for preventing stretch marks, stock up on cocoa butter, embark on a shopping spree at the maternity store, snap some final shots of my pre-baby belly for social media, and get ready for the adventure ahead. A beautiful new life is blossoming within me. I’m channeling my inner Mother Nature!

Stage Two

Alright, it’s been three months—where’s my baby bump? I feel exhausted and nauseous, yet I have no visible sign of the little one causing all this havoc. SHOW ME THE BELLY!

Stage Three

Okay, I wanted a bump, but what is this? This isn’t a bump; this is just extra fluff. I look like I’ve gained weight. People are staring at me, unsure whether to congratulate me or offer me a donut. This is not what I envisioned. #NotFair Guess I’ll have to document my journey on Instagram with pictures of fruits that represent my baby’s size against my not-so-flat belly.

Stage Four

The belly is finally here! I HAVE POPPED AND THE BABY IS SHOWING! I’m pregnant, everyone! Check out my gorgeous belly! I can totally rock this pregnancy thing.

Stage Five

Uh-oh… okay, this belly growth can halt anytime now. Seriously, I wasn’t expecting this much belly. I still have two months left, and people keep asking if I’m expecting twins. I AM NOT HAVING TWINS, PLEASE STOP! I don’t think I can get any bigger than this. I’m sure I’ll go early. That’s it, early delivery it is!

Stage Six

It’s official: call the museum, I’m a spectacle. Is the doctor certain I’m not carrying twins? I look like I’m having a double feature! My belly is moving so much. It’s downright weird. What is happening in there?! And those cocoa butter bottles? They lied. I’ve got stretch marks from my lady parts to my chest, and even my breasts seem to have inflated. I want a refund. #Ripoff

Stage Seven

Oh my gosh. Send help. I had the baby… I think. I definitely felt all the labor, but I still look pregnant… sort of. Now my belly resembles a deflated muffin top filled with jelly. I’ll be in maternity clothes forever, and if anyone dares to post a photo of me online, they’ll regret it!

Stage Eight (One Year Later)

Well, hello there, belly. I think I remember you from long ago, though you’ve got a slightly different shape now, complete with what some moms affectionately call “tiger stripes” (I guess I’ve earned them). You’re looking pretty good considering everything you’ve been through. So, belly, how about welcoming another tenant? I hear baby bumps are trending these days.

Looking for more insights into your journey? Check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Kindbody. And for those interested in the process, you can explore this informative article about intracervical insemination or learn more about the home intracervical insemination syringe kit that can assist in your journey.

In summary, growing a baby belly is a unique and often humorous experience filled with ups and downs. From the excitement of discovery to the challenges of body changes, every stage offers its own set of surprises. Embrace the journey, and remember you’re not alone!