By: Jamie Taylor
Updated: Dec. 19, 2015
Originally Published: Aug. 12, 2015
So, your dad reached out to me at work to say you mentioned I never taught you how to do laundry. While you might see this as a parenting oversight, I assure you it was all part of my plan. For the last 18 years, I washed your clothes so you could focus on important things—like studying, building your resume, and mastering the latest social media trends.
But since you’re heading off to the dorms tomorrow, it’s time to learn the ropes. Here’s a straightforward guide:
- Check the Labels: First, inspect any fancy or pricey clothing for dry-cleaning instructions. If you find any, set them aside. Actually, let’s be real. Dry-cleaning is pricey, so let’s donate those items instead and claim a tax deduction. College is expensive enough!
- Separate Your Laundry: Next, sort your clothes by color. Dark colors—blues, blacks, and purples—go into one pile, while reds, oranges, and pinks make up another. And don’t forget the whites! If you mix your reds with whites, you might end up with a wardrobe full of pink—just like when you were five!
- Washing Time: Ready to start? Toss the darks into the washing machine. Set the water to cold and the timer to permanent press (or any number, it doesn’t really matter). Add a capful of detergent (or even less, because detergent costs a fortune and your clothes don’t really need to smell like a flower shop). Now, turn on the machine—pull the knob, push a button, or perhaps slide in a coin (if that’s how it works).
- After the Wash: Once the machine stops shaking, it’s time to sort again. Pull out any delicate items that shouldn’t go in the dryer—those short shorts and flimsy blouses should hang-dry. Use whatever’s available in your room—hooks, chairs, or your bunk bed. Just be careful not to invade your roommates’ space. Can you believe you’ll be sharing a tiny room with two others? Just remember to keep things tidy and avoid food crumbs that might attract pests. And if your roommates are being inconsiderate, don’t just bury your head in a pillow—speak up!
- Rinse and Repeat for Reds: Now it’s time for the red load—just repeat steps 3 and 4. If you’re short on machines, and your reds are older, it’s okay to mix them with the darks. By the way, don’t forget that you’re a customer at that school. If the classes you want aren’t available, make some noise. Avoid courses like “Finnish Folk Art” unless you want to be in school for ages, which we can’t afford! Also, get cozy with your professors—they can be your allies.
- Wash Whites: For whites, switch the water to hot. Repeat steps 3 and 4 but include a bit of bleach—about half a cup should do the trick. Speaking of hot water, remember that your primary job is to get an education. Prioritize studying, then have fun. Just keep it balanced; if you’re going to indulge, don’t be the wildest one at the party. Stick to classic options and be cautious of trendy substances that could harm you.
- Drying Your Clothes: Finally, for the remaining items that don’t require hang-drying, combine them into one economical dryer load. Set it to medium or low heat—never hot, or you’ll feel those “Freshman 15” pounds creeping in!
So, wash your towels every few days, your sheets weekly (don’t let it go longer than that), and consider investing in dryer sheets. Most importantly, have a blast—college will be a time you’ll cherish forever.
Love, Mom
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Summary
This guide provides a humorous yet informative take on how to do laundry for college students. It covers checking labels, sorting clothes, washing, drying, and maintaining cleanliness in shared living spaces, all while emphasizing the importance of education and moderation in college life.