I was recently asked how my life would be different if I didn’t have a brother with a disability. Honestly, I can say, without a doubt, it would be far less exciting, interesting, and fulfilling. Over the past two decades, my brother Jake has imparted countless lessons simply by being himself. Here are the top five insights I’ve gained from him:
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Truthfulness is Refreshing.
Jake’s innocence and unwavering honesty are two of his most remarkable traits. He doesn’t mean any harm; he just speaks his mind. Lying is beyond his capabilities, which has led to some memorable moments. For instance, when asked if he was excited to see someone, he might respond with a blunt, “Not really.” It makes me laugh and wonder what the world would be like if everyone were so candid. When I need honest fashion advice, he’s my go-to! -
Invisible Struggles Matter.
You don’t have to show physical wounds to be hurting. Autism is often an invisible disability. Even when you see Jake flapping his arms or softly talking to himself, it’s hard to tell what he’s experiencing. This can be frustrating at times. Sometimes, I wish his challenges were more visible, as people tend to be more patient and understanding when they can see a struggle. Many see a tall, handsome young man and misinterpret his behaviors as “weird” or “disrespectful.” This has taught me to approach each situation with empathy and an open mind; everyone has their battles, even if they’re not apparent. -
Grief Comes in Many Forms.
When I told a writer that receiving an autism diagnosis felt akin to losing a best friend, they were taken aback. It may sound harsh, but it’s a form of grief—the loss of the life you envisioned for your family. I’ve experienced denial, anger, and sadness over this diagnosis. It’s vital to acknowledge those feelings without guilt. I still grieve for the potential life my brother could have had, but I’ve learned to navigate those emotions more quickly because dwelling on sadness doesn’t help anyone. -
Believe in Miracles.
I know this sounds cliché, but it’s crucial for parents of children with disabilities to hold on to this belief. While it’s essential to have realistic expectations, it’s equally important to avoid placing limits on what’s possible. Jake today is a world away from the nonverbal child he was years ago—he not only communicates but sings beautifully! -
Your Reaction is Key.
As a planner, I thrive on organization and control. But having a sibling with a disability has taught me that life can be unpredictable. You may invest time and resources into milestones, yet they may not unfold as expected. So, I’ve learned to stop wasting energy on things I can’t control. It’s exhausting; focusing on my response rather than the situation at hand has made a world of difference.
A Simple “Hello” Goes a Long Way.
Sometimes, it’s the simplest gestures that matter the most. A friendly greeting can brighten someone’s day.
If you’re navigating similar experiences, you might find valuable insights in our other blog posts on home insemination and resources like the CDC for pregnancy guidance. For those looking into home insemination, check out this authority on the topic.
In summary, my brother has taught me about honesty, empathy, grief, belief, adaptability, and kindness. Each lesson has shaped my perspective on life, making it richer and more meaningful.