I get it—things are shifting as time goes on. I’m all for embracing change and keeping an open mind. Social media and texting have made our conversations more casual, and let’s be honest, the rules of etiquette seem to be evolving into something a bit more… relaxed. Casual is the word I’m looking for!
In fact, I generally enjoy the casual vibe of life:
- Casual Fridays are a joy.
- Casual jeans are my go-to.
- Casual dining? Yes, please!
- And I’ve definitely enjoyed casual dating in my day.
Living in a laid-back world has its perks. We can get straight to the point and skip over the unnecessary niceties more quickly than ever. (And by “real,” I mean we can start getting a bit annoyed with one another, and you can share your fries with me!)
But I can’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia for the days of traditional etiquette, particularly regarding how kids speak to adults. One of my biggest pet peeves is when children call adults by their first names. While that may be the norm where I live, I’ve never fully gotten on board with it. It feels a bit off—like trying to wear white after Labor Day or ordering a burger at a vegan café.
And then there’s the fact that my name is Rachel, which means every time a child uses it, I hear that catchy tune by The Ting Tings in my head:
“They call me hell.
They call me Rachel.
They call me her.
They call me Jane.
That’s not my name.
That’s not my name.”
Trust me, once that song is playing in your head, it’s hard to shake!
I often wonder if I’m the only one who feels uneasy about this trend. Some parents seem to enjoy being on a first-name basis with their kids’ friends because “Mr.” or “Mrs.” reminds them of their own parents. They feel more youthful being called “Mike” or “Linda,” as if it’s akin to shopping at Forever 21 or sipping on a trendy cocktail.
While I can see how “Mr./Mrs.” might feel outdated, I’m not ready to embrace the role of the grumpy old neighbor just yet. So, what’s a parent to do? Some people compromise by having kids call them “Miss” or “Mr.” followed by their first name, but “Miss Rachel” feels a tad too reminiscent of a sorority house from the ’80s.
I even contemplated adopting a rapper name, but all the good ones are taken. I played around with a few ideas, but none felt quite right:
- G-Rach (too obvious)
- Heavy R (too literal)
- Icy-Rach (too grocery-store aisle)
- 50 Cents (too outdated)
- Small Busted Rhyme (too sad)
- Ice Coffee (too suburban mom)
Then I thought about changing my name to a symbol, like Prince did back in the day. That way, no one would know what to call me! How fun would it be? Maybe a wine glass? A pair of reading glasses? A silhouette of Spanx?
Ultimately, I believe that using first names should be reserved for peers. There need to be clear boundaries between kids and adults. Let’s be real, kiddos: while I think you’re fantastic and I enjoy your company, we’re not friends. Here’s why:
- We’re not going to hang out at a bar later.
- I’m not going to be asking for your secret buffalo chicken dip recipe.
- We won’t be swapping stories about our spouses anytime soon.
- If we were friends, I’d need to dive into social media, and I’m just not ready for that!
To help clarify when to use my first name, here’s a quick guide:
- If you’ve soiled your pants in the last decade—it’s a no.
- If you’re wearing clothing from a kids’ store—also no.
- If you’re on a travel soccer team—good luck, but no.
- If you think Skittles count as a food group—nope.
- If you can recite more than ten lines from a Minion movie—uh, no.
- If you still order from the kids’ menu—pick no.
- If your Disney ticket was half off—sorry, it’s a magical no.
- If you’re in light-up sneakers—definitely no.
- If you’re eagerly waiting for Santa—ho, ho, no!
Thanks for understanding,
(The mom formerly known as Rachel)
P.S. Please don’t take offense! I’m not even on a first-name basis with my gynecologist, and we’ve shared some pretty personal experiences (and by personal, I mean totally awkward and cringe-worthy). For more insights on topics like this, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while I appreciate the casual nature of modern communication, I still believe in maintaining some traditional boundaries between adults and children. A little respect and formality can go a long way!