I’ve been reflecting on something that’s been bothering me for a while. When your partner is away, whether due to work commitments, illness, or other temporary matters, please don’t refer to it as “Single Momming It.” I understand the sentiment behind it, but it simply doesn’t capture the reality of being a single parent. Here’s what being a single mom truly entails.
The Reality of Single Parenting
On most days, I am the sole caregiver for my child—handling everything from the early morning wake-ups, potty training, and meals to soccer practice, dental visits, and bedtime routines. While I’m grateful for the joys that come with these responsibilities, I also bear a heavy load. I manage our finances alone, contributing to the college fund and ensuring that all bills are paid. The weight of my child’s future—his education, friendships, and emotional well-being—rests solely on my shoulders, 24/7, without any breaks.
Although I have a wonderful partner, his role in my child’s life is not the same as a co-parent’s. I juggle a full-time job while caring for my son during the day, and when he’s asleep, I often work late into the night to secure our future. I shower with the door ajar, anxious that something might go wrong while I’m momentarily unavailable. Each night, I collapse into bed with a heart full of questions: Am I doing enough? Did I spend quality time with him today? Will he grow up feeling loved and secure? There’s no one there to reassure me that I’m doing a good job or to share in the laughter from the little moments that bring joy.
Finding Time for Myself
When I take time for myself—whether it’s getting a haircut, going to dinner, or visiting the doctor—I often have to arrange for a babysitter. This adds extra cost and stress to my already busy life. I genuinely empathize with those of you who find yourselves overwhelmed when your partner is unavailable for a few hours or days. I see your exhaustion and recognize that even supportive partners can sometimes leave you feeling like the sole parent. I understand the concept of “default parent,” and I know it can be tough.
Different Struggles
However, your temporary struggles are vastly different from my everyday reality. I never envisioned my life this way; I always dreamed of raising my child with two loving parents. Life, however, had other plans, and I’ve had to adapt. This isn’t about garnering sympathy; it’s just the truth of my situation. We all face unique challenges, and I respect yours as well.
Embracing the Journey
My love for my child is immense, and I am thankful for the joy he brings to my life. I navigate each day and night because he deserves every bit of my dedication. While I may feel tired and sometimes frustrated, I embrace this journey. All I ask is that we acknowledge the distinction between our experiences. We are all incredible moms, and we all have our strengths and struggles. Let’s celebrate the victories together but reserve the term “Single Momming It” for those of us who truly are.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, being a single parent is a unique and challenging journey that goes beyond temporary situations. It’s essential to recognize and respect the differences in our experiences.