I now practice exercise in moderation, a lesson that took me years to master. In a world that often rewards extreme dedication, being just okay at something can feel like a letdown. When I stroll into the gym every couple of weeks, the manager—who’s always friendly—playfully remarks, “Great to see you again, Jamie.” I totally get it. I’m like a gym raccoon: a bit soft and rarely spotted, but it’s no surprise when I pop up now and then. While I used to feel guilty about my sporadic visits, I’ve come to embrace my approach. It seems that my more relaxed attitude towards fitness is a sign that I’ve finally understood what works for me.
How It All Unfolded
As a child, I was quite athletic, but during my college years, I traded physical activity for a serious commitment to smoking. Oh, how I loved it! I knew it was detrimental, but in the ’80s, smoking was woven into my identity. If you knew me at all, you knew I was a smoker, which meant I was definitely not an athlete. The thought of running a mile felt as daunting as scaling Everest—utterly impossible.
However, once I ditched the cigarettes, I figured I’d put my newfound smoke-free lungs to use and try to build some cardiovascular endurance. I signed up for a five-mile race and began training. Looking back, that first race was a disaster. I started too quickly and had to pause before reaching the first mile, gasping for breath. The race turned into a cycle of sprinting and gasping—exhausting in the moment, but finishing brought an incredible rush. I couldn’t believe I had done it!
I signed up for another race, and then another. Eventually, I learned to pace myself, and running became a bit less torturous. I even picked up speed. But here was the catch: I still didn’t enjoy running; in fact, I kind of detested it. So, after each race, I would reward myself with a “break,” which usually meant doing virtually nothing until I felt sluggish enough to sign up for another. Clearly, this wasn’t the healthiest pattern.
After having kids, I thought a more ambitious goal would motivate me to shed the baby weight, so I registered for a sprint triathlon. I joined a women’s training group, bought a bike, and learned about transitions. I ran intervals and completed brick workouts.
On triathlon day, all my training paid off. Despite a panic attack during the swim, I performed better than I had anticipated. I felt fit, strong, and muscular—who doesn’t want to feel like that? I immediately signed up for another triathlon. There was just one issue: the next race was a year away. Without a nearby goal, I slipped back into my habits of munching on M&M’s and chips. My workout gear collected dust all winter, and by spring, I was starting from scratch again. This cycle repeated itself; I’d end up at each triathlon essentially back at square one, with less time to train and increasing acceptance of my post-race sloth.
Consequently, my workouts began to lose their enjoyment. Each exercise session felt overshadowed by my inability to maintain a consistent regimen. Instead of celebrating my achievements, I only saw my failures. The last few races I completed were driven more by sheer willpower than joy, and crossing the finish line felt more like relief than accomplishment.
A couple of years ago, I decided to stop signing up for races. I canceled my gym membership and put on 10 pounds. I surrendered, convinced that I just didn’t have the heart to be an athlete.
And you know what? That’s okay. I’m not an athlete, and where I misstepped was in believing that being “fit” meant competing in races and accumulating medals and bib numbers. But that’s not what exercise is about for me. Now in my mid-40s, I’ve realized that I can maintain my health simply by integrating more movement into my daily life. Taking the stairs, enjoying weekly yoga classes, walking with friends, and jogging in the park when the weather is nice—these activities bring me more fulfillment than a collection of awards ever could. While this mindset may not yield medals or sculpted abs, it suffices for my goal of staying healthy for decades to come. It turns out that doing less and relieving stress is exactly the kind of workout I need.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination and related topics, check out this informative post. You can also visit Make A Mom for expert insights on insemination kits, and Facts About Fertility for additional resources.
Summary
In my journey toward fitness, I’ve learned that moderation is key. After years of feeling pressured to compete and achieve, I’ve embraced a more balanced approach, focusing on enjoyable activities that promote health rather than striving for accolades. Now, I prioritize my well-being by incorporating movement into my daily routine and letting go of the stress associated with traditional fitness goals.