When I discovered I was expecting a girl, I made several commitments to myself. First, I would consciously curate her wardrobe with a range of colors—anything but pink. I envisioned her room filled with gender-neutral toys like building blocks, train sets, and puzzles. I swore I wouldn’t call her “pretty,” fearing it would link her self-worth to her appearance. And the one thing I definitely wouldn’t do? Call my daughter a princess. It felt cliché and superficial.
Well, here we are—oops!
I’ve completely broken those promises, especially that last one. The term “princess” has become a loaded word for many, conjuring images of entitlement, tantrums, or even passivity. Some argue it undermines feminist values. Yet, I find myself referring to my daughter as “princess” every single day. What in the name of women’s rights am I doing?
My daughter, influenced by toys, movies, and her peers, has developed an undeniable fondness for all things royal. To her, being a princess is synonymous with wearing fluffy dresses, frolicking with woodland creatures, and living in a magnificent castle. She truly believes being a princess makes her special, and calling her that feels just as important as telling her I love her.
But isn’t it unfair to allow her to think she’s a princess? Doesn’t that risk creating a sense of entitlement? Not at all! This isn’t about arrogance or promoting outdated ideals; it’s about play. My daughter imagines herself as the princess of our little family kingdom, and she’s absolutely right—we even held a coronation ceremony (it was very official!).
This phase won’t last forever. While she wholeheartedly identifies as a princess now, I highly doubt she’ll show up to college wearing a tiara. By then, she’ll likely understand she isn’t a true royal bound by any monarchy. And even if she were to grace her campus in a princess outfit with a pet squirrel, who are we to judge? Let her have her fun and express joy in whatever way she likes.
At just five years old, she doesn’t yet grasp the difference between her fantastical notion of a princess and the often passive reality of royal figures. I see no need to shatter her delightful fantasy to adhere to feminist principles.
Recently, she declared that when she grows up, she wants to stay home to care for her babies. I was still processing this when her brother piped up, “No, you should go to college, get a job, and be independent!” My daughter retorted, “It’s my choice; you can’t decide for me.” So, it seems she’s got a feminist spirit after all! (And I still have time to teach her the importance of financial independence.)
We call her many names beyond “princess”: sweetheart, little monkey, goober. “Princess” might not even be her favorite title (just kidding, it absolutely is). But we also focus on the qualities we cherish most about her: her empathy, creativity, determination, and intelligence. These traits are what truly make her our princess.
For more insights into parenting, check out this link to another one of our blog posts. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, visit Make a Mom for their expert advice. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, calling my daughter a princess is a playful way to celebrate her uniqueness and the love we share in our family, while also encouraging her to embrace her individuality as she grows up.