No, I Don’t Love My Partner Like I Used To — It’s Even Better Now

self insemination kit

In the early days of our marriage, unsolicited advice flooded in from all directions, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. Everyone seemed to think that once you say “I do,” you automatically become a marriage expert. Most of their input was unhelpful, but one encounter stands out in my memory.

During our honeymoon, we crossed paths with an elderly couple while enjoying a sunset drink. Their words felt strangely prophetic. The man, smiling at his wife of over 50 years, told us, “No matter how much you think you love each other now, just wait. One day you’ll look back and realize you don’t love each other in the same way.” At the time, I thought it was odd advice. Now, I recognize it as a profound observation about the evolving nature of love within a relationship.

As I sit here in the emergency room watching you comfort our little boy, I reflect on the past decade of our lives together. This week marks our engagement anniversary, and seeing you hold our sick child, I finally grasp the truth behind that couple’s statement. Our son is in pain, and there you are, cradling him as you softly sing the theme from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. In this moment, the calmness you exude provides a sense of normalcy even amidst the chaos.

I’ve come to understand that I don’t love you in the same way I once did, but that’s not a bad thing. The difference lies in the word “like.” Love evolves, and with it, the reasons for that love change. Over the past 16 years, we’ve faced numerous challenges that have reshaped our relationship.

I want you to know that my love for you remains as strong as it was on our wedding day, but I love you now for different reasons—ones I couldn’t have predicted back when we were blissfully unaware of the complexities of adult life. What used to annoy me about you has transformed into some of my favorite traits.

Watching you now, as you embrace our child on that stretcher, I realize how much I admire your cool, calm demeanor. In our early years, I found it frustrating when you’d respond to crises with a level-headedness that seemed almost detached. I remember thinking, “Why can’t you be more expressive?” But over time, I’ve come to cherish this quality. You are the anchor of our family, providing stability when life gets chaotic.

Life with two kids who have special needs has changed our perspectives and priorities. It has shown me just how much I value your calm nature. You’ve been my strength during the most challenging moments, helping me regain my composure when I felt overwhelmed. Your steady presence gives our children a sense of security, and I’m grateful for that.

As I reflect on our journey, I look forward to discovering even more qualities in you that I may not have appreciated before. The beauty of love is that it continues to evolve as we grow together. I know that in the years to come, I will love you differently again, and I can’t wait to embrace those changes.

For those exploring their own journey into parenthood, you can find more insights on pregnancy and home insemination at WHO. For helpful resources on home insemination, check out this post. And if you’re looking for the right tools, Cryobaby offers a great selection.

In summary, love is a dynamic journey. While it may not look the same as it once did, it has deepened and transformed in ways that make it even more beautiful. I’m excited to continue exploring this path with you.