There’s nothing quite like being 3,000 miles from home, feeling the weight of jet lag, and managing two energetic children who seem to have forgotten how to behave. That’s the reality I’ve faced during our recent trip to California, where we’ve been visiting friends and family. My two-year-old has taken nearly a week to adjust to the new time zone, leading to numerous whiny tantrums at the most inconvenient times. Meanwhile, my finicky eight-year-old has subsisted solely on cereal and chips. Ah, the joys of family vacations.
Every morning as we head to the continental breakfast, it’s a cacophony of complaints. They bicker over everything: “Quit touching me! That’s my chair! Stop saying my name!” They argue with us too, insisting, “But you promised we could have chocolate for breakfast!” My eight-year-old claims California milk tastes different from New York’s, while my toddler protests that the pancakes aren’t round enough.
And oh boy, are they loud. Their high-pitched voices seem to echo throughout the dining area as they jump on chairs, hide under tables, and create castles from their breakfast. Heads turn in disapproval. One child has strawberry jam smeared across his face, while the other has his hand down his pants. It’s a scene that shouts “wild” and “uncivilized.”
We attempt to shush them, and they sort of comply. Yes, we whisk them out of the room when things get too rowdy, but the truth remains: they’re being downright wild.
In my earlier days as a mother, the disapproving glances from strangers would have cut me deeply. I would have questioned my capabilities as a parent, wondering why my children were the loudest in the room, while others seemed to have perfectly behaved kids cutting their waffles into neat squares. I’d think, Why can’t my children follow simple instructions? It felt like every other family had their act together, while we were just the chaotic bunch.
Other parents seemed to have their solutions figured out—reading all the parenting books, implementing sticker reward systems. Stickers! I should definitely try that, I’d think.
During this trip, I often felt that our family dynamics were on display—not just at breakfast but also among relatives I hadn’t seen in years, whose opinions I valued deeply. It’s a familiar feeling, akin to being in middle school again—your cheeks flush, heart races, and you feel a wave of frustration wash over you. It’s an overwhelming sensation that makes you want to retreat, hide away, and cry.
But there’s one important thing I’ve learned over the years: I am not alone.
And neither are you.
While I sometimes cringe when others say, “You’re not alone,” I recognize that in those chaotic moments, it can feel entirely isolating. However, it helps to remember that every parent has days when they feel utterly lost—especially when they’re out of their comfort zone and the world seems to be watching.
To all the parents out there managing fussy, spirited kids:
- Your little ones are not the only ones throwing tantrums in public, even after you’ve tried to ensure they’re well-rested and ready for the day.
- Your kids aren’t the only ones who seem completely indifferent to manners and cleanliness.
- You’re not the only parent whose children take “enthusiasm” to a new level—dancing on tables, belting out songs, begging for candy at breakfast, and giving belly button shows to unsuspecting diners.
- And you’re definitely not the only one who feels like they’re making it up as they go along.
What the public sees is merely a snapshot of your life—a moment amplified by raised voices and stress. More people need to grasp that judging a parent based on a five-minute glimpse is unfair. The truth is that your kids are amazing, even when they’re acting a little crazy. It’s completely normal for children to struggle with new environments, for siblings to bicker, and for kids to be messy and loud.
You know the wildest children often turn out to be the most creative, right? Those adventurous kids are the ones who surprise you by mastering new skills in record time and who invent elaborate games that defy logic. Your kids excel at being themselves, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re on the brink of losing your sanity.
Because in that very moment when you think you’re failing, there’s probably someone else feeling the same way. Maybe even me.
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In summary, being a parent is a wild ride, full of ups and downs, especially when you’re navigating unfamiliar territory or family dynamics. Embrace the chaos, know you’re not alone, and appreciate the journey.