As a lifelong night owl, my internal clock ticks about three hours later than what’s customary for most of the working world. I usually find myself heading to bed around 2 a.m. and rising around 10 a.m. In my single days, I managed to navigate this schedule by only taking jobs that started later in the day. But children? They don’t share that luxury. Many parents, like me, have lamented the morning hours after never having seen the 7 a.m. light before kids. Here are 18 things that ‘night owl’ parents can relate to:
- If you’re fortunate, you married an early riser. During the baby phase, you can tag-team the nights—one parent handles the late-night feeding while the other takes the first one in the morning.
- If luck isn’t on your side, you might find yourself with a partner who’s also a night owl. This leads to both of you bleary-eyed at the 2 a.m. feeding, grumbling, “You need to sleep; you’re up in the morning!”
- Expect to spend a small fortune—around $9,000—on child-proofing your home to create a safe play zone. This allows you to catch some Zs on the couch while your baby explores at 6 a.m., often interrupted by a Lego surprise in your mouth. Worth it? Absolutely.
- You often find yourself thinking, “Go to sleep!” as you scroll through the Internet at 2 a.m., while your kids are peacefully snoozing.
- However, those late-night hours can be magical. It’s just you awake, the world is quiet, and you can connect with distant friends or binge-watch old episodes of “Mork and Mindy.”
- When it’s your partner’s turn to sleep in, and they request a cup of coffee in bed, you might just spill the lukewarm coffee on them while delivering it.
- You begin playing a mental game of “would you rather”: Is it better to be woken multiple times at night but sleep in until 8, or get a solid 8 hours but rise at 5:30? Spoiler: falling asleep by 9:30 is a challenge.
- Mornings feel unforgivingly early when school starts way too soon.
- You can’t help but wonder about those parents with perfectly styled hair and fresh faces. Where are their comfy yoga pants and flip-flops?
- When the parent-teacher conference signup sheet features time slots from 7:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m., you’ll probably scribble on it, “LOL WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR SCHEDULE!?”
- The rare outing with old friends is rejuvenating—until the sound of a hungry child jolts you awake at dawn.
- If your spouse doesn’t wake up to the baby’s cries and you have to prod them awake, it may feel like grounds for a major argument.
- The cruelest mornings occur when you’re jolted awake by the noise of children when it’s not even your turn.
- You become fixated on whose turn it is to tend to the kids at night.
- You daydream about having a personal space where you can wake up at your own pace, sipping nine cups of coffee in peace. Even a mother-in-law suite would suffice, or a small bedroom where no one can place Cheerios on your forehead while you snooze. Heck, I’d settle for a closet with an air mattress!
- You realize that being abruptly awakened feels like a serene fish in a sunlit stream suddenly yanked into a frigid, chaotic world.
- You find yourself coming up with endless metaphors to describe the feeling of being woken too early.
- You ponder how young is too young for your child to make their own breakfast. Five? Six? If they burn themselves, kids bounce back quickly, right?
My circadian rhythms have taken a hit, and I sometimes wake up even before my kids, even when I’d rather not. But this phase won’t last forever. Eventually, they’ll learn to dress themselves and head off to school. At that point, I’ll probably need to find a job—hopefully one that starts late!
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In summary, being a night owl parent comes with its own unique set of challenges and experiences. From navigating the night shifts with your partner to the chaos of early mornings, the journey is filled with both struggles and rewards.