Making mom friends can be a lot like dating. You start with a friendly chat, and if there’s chemistry, you might swap contact details. Sometimes you hear back, sometimes you don’t. We might even go on a few (play)dates. However, just like in dating, not every connection leads to something meaningful. As a 32-year-old married mother of two, I’ve realized I don’t have time for unnecessary drama. I’ve pinpointed what I value and what I absolutely cannot tolerate. Here are my non-negotiable deal breakers:
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Your Kid Isn’t Nice to Mine.
Sure, all kids can have their moments. We’ve dealt with hitting and biting, just like everyone else. However, I’m talking about consistent aggression or rudeness toward my toddler. If your child is a perpetual bully and shows no remorse, I won’t let my daughter spend time with them. I want her to grow up knowing she deserves respect, and I’ll step in to protect her before I feel the urge to intervene physically.
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You’re Unkind to Your Child.
There’s nothing more unsettling than witnessing a parent belittling their child. This includes harsh words, constant yelling, and cruel teasing. We all lose our cool sometimes, but then we should strive to make amends. I believe children should always feel secure and cherished. In situations like this, I find it best to distance myself before I feel inclined to intervene.
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You Reward Tantrums.
If your child is consistently rewarded for throwing fits, it creates a ripple effect. My child will then mimic that behavior, thinking it’s a successful strategy. This leads to a chaotic spiral where both of us are left frustrated. It’s a cycle I’d rather avoid, so if this is your parenting style, I’m out.
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You Demonize Sugar.
While I’m all for healthy eating, I also believe in enjoying sweets occasionally. I love cookies and chocolate, and yes, sometimes my kids indulge in fast food. If you’re constantly lecturing about gluten and artificial ingredients, it’s likely to drive people away. Let’s enjoy our treats in moderation without judgment.
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You’re Always Selling Something.
I understand the financial struggle of supporting a family, as we’re tightening our budget too. If I have some extra cash, it’s going toward a babysitter and a drink, not whatever product you’re promoting. It’s essential to maintain friendships without the pressure of sales pitches.
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You Can’t Put Down Your Phone.
Our ability to connect has taken a hit with constant technology use. I don’t care about etiquette, but if you’re distracted by your phone while I’m talking to you, it’s a deal breaker. A genuine conversation deserves your full attention.
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You’re a Constant Complainer.
While venting about parenting is important, I can’t tolerate someone who perpetually plays the victim. Everyone has challenges, but if you’re always negative, it drains the joy out of our time together. We should uplift each other rather than drag each other down.
At the end of the day, I don’t care about your parenting choices—what you feed your kids, your daycare preferences, or your parenting style. What I do care about is cultivating friendships that enhance my life rather than complicate it. If a relationship feels burdensome instead of enjoyable, it’s simply not worth my time.
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Summary:
Navigating friendships as a mom can be tricky, and I’ve learned to identify my deal breakers. From unkind behavior to constant negativity, I prioritize relationships that enhance my life. After all, friendship should be a source of joy, not stress.