Parenting
The In-Between Years
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it occurred, but it did. Was it during the summer, or did it sneak up on me last fall? Was it a sudden realization, like the Big Bang, marked by some milestone I failed to notice? Or was it a slow evolution, almost imperceptible day by day, until one morning—BAM!—the truth was inescapable?
Regardless of when or how it happened, we find ourselves in the in-between years.
There were many days when I truly doubted we would reach this stage. I imagined we’d be trapped in an endless cycle of babyhood, toddler tantrums, and preschool antics. I was convinced that parenthood meant an unending loop of diaper changes, nap times, and time-outs.
Now, however, both of my children are in school—one in kindergarten and the other in third grade. They no longer fit neatly into any of childhood’s traditional phases. We’ve long moved past the unpredictable Jekyll-and-Hyde days of infancy and toddlerhood. Though they occasionally exhibit threenager behavior, those instances are becoming less frequent. We’re still a few years from the whirlwind of adolescence and even further from the days when they’ll leave the nest. My boys are in a unique space—they’re young but not too young; big but not entirely grown. They inhabit the in-between.
These in-between years signify a stage where they’re old enough to inquire about sex, yet still believe in Santa Claus. We’re no longer tied down by strict nap or bedtime rituals, but they still enjoy a tuck-in and snuggling with their blankets. Instead of t-ball, we now cheer for kid-pitch baseball, even if at least one player inevitably ends up in tears on the bench. Our summer has been filled with sleepovers and high-dive jumps, but also parades and kiddie pools. We’ve watched everything from “The Hobbit” and “Guardians of the Galaxy” to “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” and “Gravity Falls.” They can shower independently, yet bathing still happens every other day since they haven’t quite reached the stage of raging hormones and body odor.
There’s something wonderfully ideal about these in-between years. Parenting struggles are balanced by the sweetness of childhood; our children depend on us less desperately, seeking our company in a more relaxed manner. It’s no wonder these years are often referred to as the sweet spot.
However, amidst the sweetness of this phase, there’s also a sense of unease. With each new step toward independence, my children stretch their wings a little further, and I can feel the fabric of their childhood slowly unraveling. Plus, I’m all too aware of the chaos looming ahead. These in-between years are a curious blend of relief, anxiety, excitement, and confusion.
These years aren’t just transitional for my kids; they’re also a period of change for me as a mother. For nearly a decade, I’ve been a stay-at-home parent, with my children’s schedules dictating my own. Now, with my youngest in kindergarten, I sense the world opening up before me—a thrilling yet daunting prospect.
Some days, navigating this new terrain feels like walking on scorching sand. I tread lightly, often making impulsive decisions, afraid to let a moment slip by or miss an opportunity for what’s next. Other days, I feel trapped in thick, heavy quicksand, overwhelmed by shifting roles and responsibilities.
Most days, though, I find myself strolling along a beach where the sand is damp yet firm. The tide may be shifting, and I’m uncertain of what’s ahead. Soon enough, the landscape will change dramatically, and I’ll need to adapt. For now, though, the shoreline is soft, cool, and inviting.
Today, I’m choosing to focus on the “for now.” For now, the in-between years are precisely where I want to be.
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Summary
The in-between years of parenting offer a unique blend of childhood innocence and emerging independence. As children transition from toddlerhood to the early school years, parents experience a mix of relief, worry, and excitement. This stage is marked by a balance of caring and freedom, where kids still seek parental affection while also exploring their independence. For mothers, this time can bring about personal change and reflection as they navigate new opportunities and responsibilities.