By: Jenna Parker
Updated: Feb. 10, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 4, 2015
I was a huge fan of Golden Girls when it first aired, but back then, those ladies felt ancient. Now that I’ve entered my 40s, the straitlaced Dorothy, her wisecracking mother Sophia, the flirty Blanche, and the lovable but forgetful Rose seem much closer to my age. While I relish every moment of raising my kids through the chaos of diapers and teenage drama, I can’t help but admire these women for their forward-thinking lifestyle.
Who wouldn’t want a slumber party every night with your closest friends? Count me in! The more I think about it, the more appealing this retirement plan becomes. Why not form a grandma co-op, showering each other’s grandkids with love and affection? This way, we can enjoy plenty of grandbaby snuggles while easing the pressure on our biological children to constantly visit. And let’s not forget the financial perks! Pooling our resources would mean fewer mortgages and bulk purchases of essentials like Depends. We can even revive the good old days of sharing wardrobes; after all, who will remember whose shirt is whose?
I find myself casually scouting friends for my future spinster squad. Divorced pals, future widows, and any independent souls are welcome to join this elite group. Is she messy? A hoarder? Does she snore? Well, if she can sew, that could be a game changer! I envision a thriving garden in our granny utopia, complete with fresh fruits and fried green tomatoes. But the real must-have? A sense of humor! Life’s laughter is essential, after all.
Of course, we’ll need some ground rules for our Old Maid Utopia; let’s keep any romantic escapades outside the house. I plan to catch up on some serious sleep, and with my kids finally grown, I want to dive into deep, drool-inducing slumber without interruptions. I’m too old for late-night shenanigans or holding back your hair while you’re sick!
Golden Girls is what happens after the Disney fairytales have concluded, when happily-ever-after takes a turn. Prince Charming might have passed, eloped with another princess, or simply never showed up. But our kids have grown into functional adults thanks to our stellar parenting, and there’s still so much life to live!
We don’t have to become invisible, fading into the background with every wrinkle. The final chapter can be just as vibrant as the previous ones, and we can embrace it together as grandma ninjas dancing into the night. How empowering!
In all seriousness, I want to share this journey with friends who will travel life’s path alongside me, offering support and companionship. If I were to throw a party, I wouldn’t care about the size of your gift—actually, I’d prefer if you brought an adventure or simply your time and friendship instead of a wrapped box. After all, I’ll be grateful for your friendship.
So, my question is, will you be one of my future Golden Girls? Let me know in about 25 years! I’ll save a spot for you, and when the time comes, we’ll kick off that pajama party!
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Summary:
As I embrace my 40s, I reflect on the joy of forming a future spinster group inspired by the Golden Girls. Together, we can create a supportive community, share laughter, and enjoy life as we age gracefully. Let’s celebrate friendship over material gifts and look forward to our golden years filled with adventures.