When you become a parent, even the easiest tasks can turn into a test of patience. Dinner time can morph into a chaotic food fight, making the bed feel like a wrestling match, and bedtime often leads to a showdown worthy of a blockbuster movie. And then there’s the simple act of answering a phone call, which somehow brings out the wild side in both you and your kids.
Now, I keep my phone on silent, because the moment it rings, my kids unleash pure pandemonium—screaming, fighting, and turning our home into a circus. Sound familiar? Here’s a look at the five stages of answering a phone call with little ones around.
Stage One: The Phone Rings
The initial challenge is locating the phone. You find yourself whisper-yelling to the kids to be quiet while you follow the strange vibrating sound, which leads you to a pile of bills in the kitchen. Their eyes say it all: “Don’t even think about ignoring us, Mom! We’ll create chaos in no time!”
Stage Two: Picking Up the Call
You finally answer, but desperation sets in. You find yourself offering bribes—candy, extra TV time, or even that long-lost toy from the top of the fridge—anything to achieve a moment of calm. But your kids can smell your weakness and are plotting their next move.
“Hello?”
Stage Three: The Owl Eyes Phase
“Oh, hi! Sure, I have a minute…” No truer words have been spoken by a mom. There’s never a full minute of peace. Suddenly, one kid needs to pee, another has to be naked, and the third is performing a dramatic rendition of a ninja attack. You squint, widen your eyes, and push your lips together, looking like a bewildered owl. Your kids, however, find this hilarious.
Stage Four: Whisper-Screaming
Just fifty-seven seconds in, your little angels decide to raid the fridge, resulting in jars crashing to the floor. You start whisper-screaming at them to sit down immediately! They ignore you, prompting a louder “I MEAN IT! DO NOT MAKE ME HANG UP!” Of course, they’ve discovered juice boxes, and one has stepped in mustard—delightful.
Stage Five: The Great Escape
At this point, your phone call is all but ruined. Your blood pressure is soaring as you realize that your precious darlings are ignoring your pleas and wreaking havoc. You tell the person on the other end that you have to go, weaving excuses as you promise to call back.
You hang up, toss the phone onto the growing pile of bills on the counter, and hope you never make the mistake of answering it while the kids are around again.
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Summary
Navigating phone calls as a parent often feels like a challenging adventure, filled with unexpected interruptions and chaotic moments. From the initial ring to the inevitable meltdown, these five stages illustrate the hilarity and frustration of trying to communicate while juggling children.