Hey there, little ones in my shopping cart!
You know how much I cherish our little adventures together—whether we’re at the grocery store, the mall, or even the post office. But nothing quite compares to our trips to the dry cleaners, where I get to juggle unbuckling you, carrying you across the parking lot, paying, and then managing a massive pile of clothes while trying to find my keys with just one finger. It’s a workout and a whole lot of fun, all squeezed into three chaotic minutes!
I can see many more errands on our horizon together (insert dreamy sigh), and I thought it might be helpful to jot down some reminders to ensure we make the most of this special bonding time. So here goes:
Shopping Cart Adventures
When we walk into the supermarket, please start shouting at me about how I chose the wrong cart. Nothing says “grand entrance” like a little drama to attract potential mom friends. The louder, the better!
After about thirty seconds, be sure to announce that the front seat of the cart is no longer your thing. Clambering onto the back gives you prime access to all the produce. Don’t forget to touch everything with those adorable, grubby little fingers! It’s always fun to catch the eye of those young professionals who are shopping without kids; you know, the ones in heels carrying organic kale and fancy fish.
When you tire of your “trash man” act by hanging off the cart’s side, feel free to hop back in—this time, try sitting in the back! That ground beef is just begging to be squished. Remember the ten-second rule? And don’t forget to grab those chips; who wouldn’t want to pay $4.99 for a bag of crumbs?
Tantrums in the snack aisle are a must. I really need to sharpen my negotiation skills, and debating whether those sugary SpongeBob gummies qualify as a healthy snack is the perfect practice. Let’s face it, I wouldn’t want my brain turning to mush just because I’m a mom. Mom brain is totally a myth, right?
A dramatic fit lying down in the aisle? Absolutely necessary! At least one.
I know grocery shopping can be tough work. If you suddenly declare you’re STARVING, just crack open that bag of popcorn you tossed in earlier for an impromptu shopping cart picnic. Crumbs everywhere? No problem! My handbag is practically a Mary Poppins bag, ready for any mess.
When you want a turn pushing the cart, please run into the back of my heels as often as you wish. The pain is almost like a tickle at this point! And while you’re at it, don’t hesitate to ask me to carry you while I’m pushing the cart. I may be in yoga pants, but let’s be honest—I definitely skipped the gym today. Talk about a workout combo!
And when our cart is filled to the brim, and I’ve just balanced the frozen treats on top, that’s the ideal moment to announce that you need to use the bathroom. I simply love the thrill of weaving through the aisles while searching for the restroom. It turns an ordinary shopping trip into a wild adventure!
Finally, when we’re checking out, feel free to press every button on the credit card machine, causing the transaction to cancel. The people waiting in line behind us will appreciate it, I’m sure! If I were a betting person, I’d wager that they’ll be the ones to remind me to slow down and savor every moment. So take your time—this is all just too much fun!
Sweet little munchkins, these are just a few playful suggestions. Unleash your creativity and imagination! Make each shopping experience uniquely memorable. And trust me, I’ll be working hard for that blissful ten-minute drive home, where you’re all strapped in and quiet.
Love you little rascals,
Mommy
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Summary: In this heartfelt and humorous letter, Jamie shares the joys and chaotic moments of grocery shopping with her kids, offering playful reminders to make the most of their time together. From tantrums in the snack aisle to impromptu picnics, she captures the essence of parenting in a fun and relatable way.