As a child, I remember my grandmother always claiming she was 29 whenever anyone asked her age. Sometimes it was clearly a joke, but there were moments when people genuinely believed her. After all, she was a youthful grandma, just 39 when I came into the world, and she always appeared stunning for her years. My aunts were no different, often bending the truth about their ages, and my mom likely joined in on the fun too.
Growing up, I witnessed the women in my family shy away from acknowledging their age, as if it were something to be embarrassed about. I thought their attitude was silly. However, when I hit 40, I initially felt a wave of panic wash over me at how old that number seemed, and I was tempted to hide my age. But the more I reflected on it, the more I realized that there was no point in lying—being 40 was far superior to being 29.
The 20s can be a tumultuous time, filled with confusion and pressure. I spent much of that decade clinging to my childhood while grappling with the demands of adulthood. Each time I attempted something “grown-up,” like hosting a dinner party, I felt like I was merely playing a role, as if my 20s were just practice for real life.
During that time, I faced immense pressure to meet societal milestones: finding a partner, getting engaged, throwing a lavish wedding, purchasing a house, and starting a family. I constantly compared myself to others and felt like a late bloomer, struggling to discover my true path. I gripped tightly to the reins of my life, questioning every decision, big and small—like whether a red dress was inappropriate for a first date.
I can chuckle about it now, but the thought of turning 30 filled me with dread. At 29, I felt like I had failed in every aspect. I was single, childless, and my career was uninspiring. The clock was ticking, and I felt like I was running out of time to establish a family. I feared I would end up in a run-down house at the end of the street, surrounded by a menagerie of cats and dogs, convinced my future was hopeless. My confidence was at an all-time low.
Fast forward to my 40s, and everything has changed. The most liberating aspect of getting older is that I finally feel at ease. The pressure is gone: I’m happily married, I have a wonderful child, and going back to school was one of the best choices I ever made. I discovered my passion for writing and achieved the milestones that once felt so urgent, even if I was late to the party. In retrospect, those deadlines weren’t as critical as my younger self believed.
For me, my 40s are a time for celebration. I’ve graduated for good, meaning no more late-night cramming or algebra headaches. I now have a career I adore, allowing me to enjoy a lifestyle beyond ramen noodles and grilled cheese sandwiches. The anxiety about racing against time to find a partner and start a family has dissipated; I’m grateful to have my daughter, and I’ve shattered any notions of a ticking biological clock. From now on, intimacy is simply for enjoyment! Plus, I only have a few more years left of dealing with my period—now that’s something to celebrate!
Yet, the most rewarding part of being in my 40s is that I feel vibrant and healthy while possessing the wisdom that comes from experience. I’ve learned to prioritize my well-being, which means no more Twinkies for dinner or late-night escapades. It’s about exercising, staying mindful, and eliminating unnecessary drama from my life.
Most importantly, I’ve learned the value of self-sufficiency. Instead of waiting for someone else to fill the voids in my life, I take charge of my own happiness. Mentally and physically, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been. It’s amusing to think about how I feared aging at 29; now, I embrace middle age and the freedom it brings as a treasure. I’m ready to wear my age like a sparkling tiara.
I take pride in how far I’ve come and eagerly anticipate the future. No longer am I preoccupied with fitting into a mold of success; instead, I can focus on enjoying life, embarking on adventures, exploring the world, and creating meaningful memories with my daughter. When someone asks my age, I’ll proudly share it. I’ve learned countless lessons along the way, but I’m grateful to have moved past my youth.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, and if you’re curious about home insemination options, you can visit this link for a comprehensive kit.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, Jenna Matthews shares how turning 40 has transformed her perspective on aging. Looking back at her tumultuous 20s filled with pressure and self-doubt, she reveals how reaching her 40s has brought a sense of calm and fulfillment. Now, with a loving family and a career she adores, Jenna embraces her age and the wisdom that comes with it, focusing on enjoying life and cherishing the moments with her daughter.