Dear Sweet Baby Leo,
As summer fades away, I find myself scrolling through my social media feed, filled with joyful images of children embarking on their first day of school. I see other parents celebrating or shedding tears as they send their little ones off on this exciting new adventure. It hits me hard—the realization that this is yet another milestone I won’t share with you.
Though you were with me for only a brief 39 hours, I’ve been your mom for nearly six years. I’ve missed countless “firsts.” Your first smile, your first steps, and the sweet sound of your voice saying “I love you.” The word “mommy” will never escape your lips, and now I face the bittersweet truth that my precious little man should be starting this journey alongside your peers.
Each day since you left this world, I’ve carried the weight of your absence. I strive to balance my grief with the joy your siblings bring. Some days, the pain is a quiet presence in the background, but there are moments, like now, when it surges and feels almost unbearable.
This particular “first” feels different. Bigger. The beginning of kindergarten without you signifies more than just missing a milestone; it’s a stark reminder that life has moved on without you. Other children born in the same year are off to school—your friends, who will never know you. Parents will gather at bus stops, capturing photos of their children, while your absence will go unnoticed.
As teachers call the roll, your name will not be written among the others. “Leo” will not echo in the classroom as new friendships and experiences blossom. It pains me deeply to know that no one at the school will recognize that a little boy named Leo was meant to be starting school this year. You were here, you mattered, and your absence is felt so profoundly.
I remember receiving parenting materials in the mail long after you left, and it felt like a cruel reminder of what I had lost. I wept, questioning why they didn’t know I didn’t need those reminders. Now, I see it differently; it was a recognition that you should be here. Six years have passed, yet there’s no external acknowledgment of your existence. It’s up to me, your mother, to share the story of a brave little soul who should be conquering the world this fall if only he had the chance.
I love you dearly, sweet Leo. While your classmates begin their kindergarten journey next week, I hope you and the other little angels in Heaven are starting a new adventure of your own, knowing you are never forgotten.
Love,
Mommy
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In summary, this heartfelt letter reflects the mix of joy and sorrow that accompanies significant milestones when a loved one is absent. It emphasizes the importance of remembrance while also highlighting the journey of parenting and the bittersweet nature of life’s events.