After diving into countless parenting books and blogs, I’ve tracked every milestone from the moment I learned my baby had fingernails to the challenges of toddler tantrums. My journey toward becoming the “ideal” parent has been quite the adventure.
I made a deliberate choice to welcome my child into the world through an unmedicated vaginal birth. The moment she latched onto me was magical, and we spent hours bonding with skin-to-skin contact before she was whisked away for her first check-up.
I exclusively breastfed my two children, even in public, well into their toddler years. They turned their noses up at the formula offered when I was away, refusing it outright. I proudly nursed them wherever we were, which sparked conversations about breastfeeding and its benefits. When my eldest was diagnosed with a dairy allergy, I willingly eliminated dairy from my diet to ensure she received the best nutrition possible. For two long years, I sacrificed ice cream, grilled cheese, and even bread—all in the name of motherhood.
Their little bottoms were pampered with every cloth diaper imaginable, including some custom-made treasures from a local mom. I made sure they were comfortable, so spanking was never an option—I worked too hard to protect those delicate bottoms!
I wore them everywhere, using wraps and carriers to keep them close. During the night, when they cried for comfort, I welcomed them into my bed, nurturing them as they slept beside me.
My parenting style is as crunchy as they come. And what have I achieved? Two children who are alive and, let’s be honest, survive mostly on chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and Pringles. They sneak sips of Coke at their grandmother’s house and still haven’t mastered sleeping through the night. Now ages 6 and 3, they exhibit decent behavior about half the time; the other half, let’s just say, I fantasize about taking a break in a jail cell where someone else cooks meals and I get my own cot.
Breastfeeding lasted as long as it did mainly because a) they wouldn’t stop, b) it was a surefire way to lull them to sleep, and c) I was shedding pounds that returned as soon as they stopped nursing. I forwent covers in public, knowing that they were like wild animals when it came to eating. Besides, I figured most people had seen plenty of bare breasts in their lives anyway.
One of my best friends, Anna, is a firm believer in spanking, had two C-sections, and nursed her child for only a few months. Yet her kids are thriving, full of energy, and have no allergies. They consume more vegetables than mine and are incredibly bright. They even manage to get themselves ready for bed independently!
I adore my children, and they have their own unique charms. They’re often praised for their vocabulary—complete with a colorful selection of four-letter words. My oldest can out-fart any grown man, while my youngest finds humor in the simplest things.
If there’s one lesson motherhood has taught me, it’s that the most crucial aspect of parenting is love and keeping them safe. Everything else is a roll of the dice.
Sure, there’s a plethora of research out there proclaiming the benefits of breastfeeding, but I can assure you that there are plenty of breastfed children who are not exactly geniuses and formula-fed kids who surprise everyone with their smarts. As for me, I was exclusively formula-fed and left to cry it out, and look how I turned out!
So, fellow parents, do what feels right for you. Celebrate your victories, whether it’s an unmedicated birth story or a chaotic induction that turned into a wild adventure. I love both my children equally, even though they entered the world in very different ways. It’s a little miracle!
Remember, at the end of the day, the only thing you truly control when it comes to your child’s future is whether they feel loved. That’s what matters most. Bring them into this world, shower them with love, and embrace the chaos. That’s all any of us can do.
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In summary, embracing your parenting style, no matter how unconventional, while ensuring your children feel loved is the true essence of being a great parent.