By: Life as a Rambling Redhead
Date: Sept. 11, 2015
One of the biggest myths about stay-at-home moms is that we’re surrounded by a plethora of friends and playdates. Sure, I can handle being told I have it “easy,” being accused of neglecting myself, and repeatedly clarifying, “No, I don’t work,” as if managing two energetic little ones is merely lounging around watching movies and shopping online. But let me set the record straight: I don’t have a packed schedule of playdates, nor do I have many fellow stay-at-home mom pals. In fact, I have two—my sister-in-law and a friend who lives an hour and a half away. Let’s just say that our visits usually consist of sharing photos rather than face-to-face chats.
I don’t belong to any local mom groups, except for one fantastic online community I’ve been part of for three years. While it’s amazing, meeting up at Starbucks or the park would require a plane ride, and let’s be honest: traveling with two small children isn’t exactly on my to-do list. Call it crazy, but I’ve survived plane rides with my little ones—I deserve a medal for that.
To be fair, I haven’t actively sought out more SAHM friends. Approaching a mom I don’t know and inviting her for coffee isn’t really my style. Plus, the thought of browsing MeetUp.com feels a bit like online dating: “Choose me! I’m fun! I promise not to curse in front of your kids, I’m working on that!” What if I meet up with a group and we just don’t click? How do I gracefully exit? “It’s not you; it’s me. I’m too busy with my kids…and my husband. I know I said I was lonely, but I’m not lonely enough to hang out with you.”
Honestly, I don’t have the time or energy for that level of stress. I do enjoy a bit of drama here and there—preferably in the form of reality TV. “Wait, he didn’t pick Becca? Oh my goodness, that dress is a disaster! Who would wear that?” I’ll stick to my drama contained in a TV show while lounging in comfy pants with a glass of wine. Breaking up with a mom friend? Yeah, I can’t sip wine and eat cookies while doing that.
However, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been part of a mom group for quite some time—I just didn’t recognize it. It snuck up on me and welcomed me into its secret society: Target.
From 8 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., Monday through Friday, I’m part of a massive SAHM community. We gather around groceries, bath towels, clearance items, and all the unnecessary stuff that costs just a dollar. Target has everything we crave.
I’ve noticed there’s an unspoken dress code for this group, and luckily, I’ve been adhering to it without even knowing. You must look, well, less than put-together. The go-to attire is workout clothes that haven’t seen a gym, paired with either a Messy Bun or the trendy Top Knot. My top knot looks more like I just escaped from a cat fight in an alley while rushing to ballet class. It’s a bit chaotic, to say the least.
In fact, I’ve observed security personnel ensuring the dress code is enforced. Just the other day, I saw a guard tell a woman in a crisp blouse and pencil skirt that she’d have to come back later because she looked too polished for our group. Sorry, lady, but you just can’t sit with us!
And makeup? A lot of us might be seen wandering the cosmetic aisles, but very few actually wear any. Many sport caps pulled low, almost hiding the fact that they’re not wearing a stitch of makeup. Lipstick? What’s that? I think I saw it in a magazine once. Most just stick to mascara, and the bravest of us go completely bare-faced. GASP!
To be a member of this society, you must have kids—multiple ones, preferably. In that 2.5-hour window, Target becomes a battlefield. Arms and legs are flying everywhere, and kids are licking random merchandise. I once saw a toddler lick the bottom of five different shoes before their mother noticed. (Funny how that’s amusing when it’s not your child!)
I’ve also noticed that my fellow group members are excellent negotiators. They come with bribes for their little shopping companions: silly hats, toys they aren’t buying, or even sugary treats. “Abby, please sit still for just five more minutes. Mommy needs to find some cute workout pants!”
Abby needs to get it together; those spandex pants are on sale! When the clearance racks are filled with Champion and Xhilaration gear, it’s worth the battle—grab one we like, and we’ll buy six pairs!
I’m grateful to have found this group. The members are welcoming and understanding, never judging one another when our kids are acting like little tornadoes. If anything, we share knowing smiles that say, “Hang in there, mama; they’ll nap soon, and you’ll have your freedom back.”
We all get it. We empathize with each other, and this group provides the support I haven’t found elsewhere. Wal-Mart? No thanks. Whole Foods? Only when I’m feeling put together. Kroger? The produce section never seems to satisfy. No, Target has it all.
I adore my Secret SAHM Club and my delightfully disheveled friends. I can finally say, I, Emily Thompson, belong.
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Summary:
Stay-at-home moms often face misconceptions about their social lives, but the reality can be quite different. In this humorous take, we explore the secret society of Target, where moms bond over their chaotic shopping experiences. While the challenges of motherhood can feel isolating, finding camaraderie in shared struggles can bring joy and support.