My little one is 3 years, 2 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days old, and guess what? He’s still not potty trained. My first child was fully trained by 2 and a half, even managing to sleep through the night without any accidents.
It’s true what they say: every child is unique. I can accept this, so why can’t everyone else?
Apparently, I’m supposed to be worried—like really worried. But honestly, why? I mean, I don’t get it. You should see the judgmental stares I get, filled with disappointment and pity. It’s as if their eyes are telling horror stories of potty mishaps, which is quite unsettling. And frankly, it’s none of their business!
A woman I know once saw a picture of my son still in diapers before he turned three. She gasped and cringed at the sight. This was coming from someone with just one child—a three-month-old! She had the audacity to claim she would have her son potty trained by 18 months. I gave her a death stare that said it all.
I’ve been told that his delay in toilet training could mean he’s too reliant on me or that he’s not disciplined enough. They even suggested that if he’s not potty trained, he won’t be ready for kindergarten (which gives us a whole two years). Some people think there might be a developmental issue because he hasn’t caught on yet.
“Are you worried?” they ask, and I can’t help but think, “Am I the one who’s supposed to be worried here?”
My son is perfect in my eyes! He’s met all the developmental milestones I expect from a 3-year-old. Even if he hadn’t, he would still be my wonderful boy. He’s funny, quirky, bright, chatty, and sometimes he does use the potty.
And sometimes he doesn’t.
We’ve tried everything: Pull-Ups, underwear, even going without clothes. The method that’s worked best is letting him roam around the house naked. He knows when to go and does it every time—when he’s naked, that is. But we can’t have him running around without clothes all the time, especially outside. So, despite our reminders, he sometimes goes to the toilet and sometimes simply doesn’t.
Want to know what this means? Are you ready for this revelation? He’s NOT READY. There, I said it. I’m not about to force him into something he’s not prepared to do.
One day, he will reach a point where he doesn’t want to sit in his own mess anymore. When that day comes, I will celebrate! I’ll do a little dance to a song from Ni Hao Kai Lan and sing, “We did it, we did it, hooray!” My husband will join in with their special chest bump, and life will carry on.
Until then, I refuse to feel worried or disappointed. I’ll continue to support him and patiently wait for the moment he decides he’s ready. I will love him unconditionally, treating him like the typical 3-year-old who isn’t quite ready for the potty all the time.
I won’t feel any shame because, quite frankly, he’s doing just fine! And I have a feeling I’m not alone in this. There are other parents out there with three-year-olds who are also navigating this potty training journey, and I’m sure we’ll all be just fine.
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In summary, while potty training may be a challenge for some, it’s essential to approach it with patience and understanding. Each child develops at their own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.