Parenting
It’s Absolutely Fine to Just Say ‘No’
Dear New Mom,
Welcome to the incredible journey of motherhood! Huge congratulations on your precious little one! Since the moment you shared the news of your pregnancy, you’ve probably been inundated with all sorts of advice. Some may be helpful, some may not, and a few might even seem quite peculiar. By now, you might feel the urge to nod along politely while tuning most of it out. However, there’s one piece of guidance that you should seriously consider in the upcoming weeks and months:
It’s absolutely fine to just say “no.”
In the weeks to come, things are likely to feel a bit chaotic—don’t fret, that’s entirely normal; your life has taken a delightful turn! Initially, you may find yourself feeling exhausted, anxious, and primarily focused on caring for your baby. And that’s perfectly okay. During those first few weeks, people understand. Neighbors might drop off frozen meals, relatives may help with laundry, and friends could gift cute outfits while insisting you take some well-deserved rest. No one will judge the stack of dirty dishes or the unkempt lawn, and no one will expect you to bake, organize, or schedule anything. Treasure these moments—they might be challenging, but with a strong support system, you can take the time to relax and focus on what truly matters.
However, something curious tends to happen once your baby hits the one-month mark. While your little one is still adjusting to their eat-sleep-poop routine, those around you—particularly those without children—may feel it’s time for you to re-enter the world. They might think that a month is plenty of time to get back to your old life, which brings a whole new set of commitments that feel much more overwhelming now that you’re a mom.
Last autumn, you baked six dozen cookies for the community bake sale, but this fall, even getting to the grocery store for ingredients might feel daunting. It’s perfectly okay to just say “no.”
Sure, you organized your cousin’s bridal shower last year, but now your mind feels foggy, making it hard to even sort your laundry, let alone plan a luncheon for thirty people. It’s okay to just say “no.”
And yes, lunch with your college buddies would be a wonderful break, but you’re concerned about germs around your infant, and they’re headed to a place that doesn’t accommodate a car seat. It’s completely okay to just say “no.”
You have every right to decline invitations for any reason—whether it’s nap time, fatigue, or simply feeling overwhelmed.
You can say “no” because your baby has a rough time in the afternoons, or because you’re returning to work soon and want to savor every moment. It’s alright to say “no” if you’re breastfeeding and wish to focus on getting the hang of it.
You can choose not to go out because you feel uneasy about exposing your newborn to a crowd, or because you prefer a peaceful evening with your partner. Whatever your reason, remember that it’s perfectly fine to just say “no.”
You can decline politely or assertively, explain your reasoning, or simply leave it at “no.” Just don’t agree to something when your heart says “no.”
Being a mom is challenging at any stage, but caring for a newborn, infant, or toddler is particularly demanding. Don’t feel guilty about prioritizing your baby, yourself, and your family. In time, you’ll find yourself saying “yes” more frequently, and eventually, the moments you agree to things will outnumber the times you don’t.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy to support you on this journey. Also, if you’re interested in home insemination, you might find this post helpful, and this authority can guide you further.
In summary, remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to prioritize your well-being and your newborn’s needs during this time. Embrace the power of “no” and enjoy this special period of your life.