What I Missed Teaching My Daughter Before She Headed to College

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As the summer days dwindled and the countdown to college began, I found myself buried in endless lists: packing checklists, shopping lists, and registration lists. If you’re feeling lost in this process, a quick search online will uncover a treasure trove of resources. I approached these lists with the same intensity I once reserved for exam prep, especially those that promised “Essential Life Skills Your Child Must Learn Before College.”

However, I soon realized that despite having 18 years to prepare, I still had a significant number of discussions and lessons left undone. The clock was ticking, and I felt overwhelmed by the thought that I couldn’t cover everything before my daughter embarked on this new journey.

Here’s a glimpse into my shortcomings based on various parenting articles I read:

  1. Teach her how to read a paper map. In my defense, who even uses those anymore with smartphones at our fingertips?
  2. Help her learn to cook a few basic meals. To be fair, she isn’t fond of cooking, but she can bake delicious cookies and whip up instant ramen. Does that count?
  3. Discuss meal planning for the week. See previous point.
  4. Clarify our expectations regarding overnight trips from campus. Honestly, who believes their child will stick to campus boundaries just because they were told to?
  5. Show her how to do basic car maintenance, like changing an oil filter. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert in this area either, but I can definitely hand her a Jiffy Lube coupon!
  6. Teach her how to sew a button or mend a seam. I admit, I dropped the ball here, but I did introduce her to the wonders of double-sided tape.
  7. Show her how to make a bed with hospital corners. This skill is indeed valuable, but it’s tough to teach when your teenager is still snuggled under the covers avoiding sunlight.

Initially, the realization of my inadequacies led to feelings of panic and guilt about my parenting. But then something remarkable happened. Just three weeks before her college departure, my daughter and her friends encountered a flat tire while out. Instead of calling home or AAA—she has a membership—they rolled up their sleeves and, armed with an instruction manual, YouTube, and their own ingenuity, changed the tire themselves. It became clear that I didn’t need to worry about item No. 5 on my list; she could handle it.

While my parenting checklist may not be complete, I found solace in knowing that my daughter is resourceful, intelligent, and eager to face challenges on her own. Letting go of that to-do list opened up space for us to celebrate her new adventure rather than stressing over last-minute lessons. She’s ready to forge her path, just as we did ourselves.

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In summary, while I may not have imparted every lesson I intended to, my daughter has proven that she can navigate life’s challenges with confidence. Embracing this transition is an exciting chapter for both of us.