I found myself in a rut—my shopping habits had taken a nosedive. My bras were so worn they had holes, and my underwear was practically vintage, dating back to my childhood. My closet was cluttered with high-end pieces from a bygone era, many of which had not seen the light of day since the Clinton administration. Instead of fashionable outfits, I was piecing together ensembles that looked like they were curated from a thrift shop’s clearance section.
As my children continued growing at lightning speed, I diverted my clothing budget towards their wardrobes. I thought, if they looked fabulous, it would reflect positively on me. Surely, onlookers would think, “This mom may look disheveled, but her chic kids show she’s got it together!”
However, after a recent preschool event to celebrate a new building, I realized I had hit a low point. I arrived late, as usual, and was mortified to find myself dressed in a long-sleeve, striped shirt, black jeans, and Converse. I felt like a middle-aged extra from a 70s kids’ show. Instead of joining the crowd, I sat in my car, hiding until the event wrapped up.
This had to change.
The very next day, I made a conscious decision to treat myself and headed to Marshall’s for some new tops and sweaters. As I navigated the aisles, I spotted an array of kid accessories. My mind started racing with thoughts of buying barrettes for my daughter and socks for my son. But then I stopped short. Why was I conditioned to think I had to buy for them? After all, I had just spent an entire day running around ensuring they had their favorite meals from three different grocery stores. Did I really need to add more stuff to their collection?
Absolutely not.
As I walked past a display of frilly headbands, I declared out loud, “I am not buying my kids one more thing!” A nearby mom looked up and said, “You’re right! I was just about to buy something for my girls, but they have enough.” A sense of pride washed over me as I realized I wasn’t alone in this revelation. Maybe denying the kids a few extras wouldn’t spark a tantrum about my lack of self-care.
I mattered. I could treat myself, and my worth as a mother wasn’t tied to how many toys I bought for my kids. Instead, it was time to focus on myself and my needs.
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Summary
It’s essential for parents to prioritize self-care and not just focus on their children’s needs. By investing in oneself, they can foster a healthier mindset and better parenting. Remember, treating yourself doesn’t make you a bad parent; it makes you a happier one.