Dear Little One,
Here I am, 28 weeks and counting into this incredible journey of pregnancy. Time has truly flown by, and I can feel you gaining strength inside me. Right now, as I write, you’re giving me a little kick, reminding me that you’re there. It’s hard to believe I’m nearing the end of this experience, which has mostly been smooth sailing. I’ve been fortunate—no morning sickness, very few uncomfortable symptoms, and minimal mood swings (at least, that’s my perspective!). Strangers have only just begun to ask about you, and while my friends have noticed my growing belly, I know my experience has been easier than what many women go through.
Here’s the honest truth: despite carrying you for all this time, I still don’t feel that deep bond everyone talks about. I love you, but the love I sense feels more like the compassion I feel for a stranger in need. It’s a bittersweet realization because you’re not a stranger to me; I can predict your movements, like your kicks against the heart monitor or your active times around 11 p.m. and when I settle onto my side. I even anticipate those moments when you stir my insides!
Yet, even with all this knowledge, I still feel like I don’t truly know you. You’re my daughter, but our connection hasn’t fully materialized yet. I have no doubt that everything will change the moment I see your face and hear your cries. I can already feel that rush of love when I imagine what you’ll look like, a feeling reserved for those I care about deeply. But at this moment, it feels like you’re just along for the ride in my daily life (and I apologize for some of the stress you’ve experienced with me!).
I’m terrified of losing you. The thought of “What if something happens to the baby?” is the most frightening question I’ve ever faced. When I dig deeper into my fear, I realize it stems from my worry about never getting the chance to truly know you. This is why I’m confident that this phase will transform once you arrive.
So why articulate my feelings of disconnect when I believe I’ll bond with you once you’re here? Because, dear child, it’s something that’s often left unspoken.
In today’s social media landscape, we hear so much about the joys of pregnancy, and even the challenges. I know this because many of my friends have shared their own pregnancy journeys. Yet, none of these mothers have talked about not feeling bonded to their unborn babies. Why would they? It’s not the typical experience to share.
However, this is something many women do encounter. A quick search on self-help articles offers bonding techniques for expectant mothers, and there are countless stories of women who felt disconnected but found that emotional connection almost instantly after giving birth. Still, seeing the posts from glowing mothers-to-be can amplify feelings of worry and doubt for those of us who don’t feel that immediate bond. “Is there something wrong with me?” “Why don’t I love my baby like others do?” “Am I supposed to feel an instant connection?”
I might not fit the mold of what an expectant mother should feel, but I’m here to remind you that if you ever find yourself in this same situation, it’s perfectly okay. This feeling is temporary, and it doesn’t define your worth as a mother.
I eagerly await the day when I finally feel that bond with you.
With all my love,
Mommy
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In summary, it’s normal for some expectant mothers to not feel an immediate bond with their unborn child. This experience can bring feelings of doubt and fear, but it’s important to recognize that these feelings can change after birth. You’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to seek support and resources as you navigate this unique experience.