I’ve never been a believer in soulmates. From my early days as a tween through my teenage years and into adulthood, I wished for a love that would change my life. But the notion that there’s one perfect person out there for me? That idea always felt a bit far-fetched. At 22, back in 1996, I remember watching a movie where a character played by Jake Matthews declared, “You complete me,” and I was captivated. I thought it was the most romantic thing ever—until I eventually realized that it was just a line.
According to Merriam-Webster, a “soulmate” is described as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.”
I have experienced love in many forms: infatuation, deep connections, and even heartbreak. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in the realm of romance. Throughout it all, I’ve held steadfast to the belief that nothing is perfect—not even love. Did I mention my skepticism about the concept of soulmates?
Here’s what I do believe:
- Two individuals can be remarkably compatible.
- Conversely, two people can be deeply incompatible.
- Love should uplift you rather than diminish your spirit.
- Just because there is attraction doesn’t mean there’s a relationship or even love.
- Attraction is significant, but it’s not the whole story.
- Love requires effort and compromise.
- However, love shouldn’t always feel like hard work.
- Timing plays a crucial role—often more than people realize.
- It’s possible to experience many wonderful loves throughout one’s life; each one is unique and doesn’t cancel out the others.
- I enjoy being in a relationship, but I also cherish my alone time more than being with someone who isn’t right for me.
- No one can complete you; you are whole as you are.
- You don’t need to be “completed” by another person.
- Love is inherently imperfect; it will not arrive when you expect it or in the form you envisioned.
- You can find a love that stands out as the most significant of all.
Additionally, I challenge the notion that “you must love yourself before you can love someone else.” There are aspects of myself that I struggle with, yet I am still capable of loving others. After 40 years of self-discovery, I have learned to accept myself, and in this acceptance, I can love and embrace others for who they are too. That’s sufficient for me.
This article was originally published on September 23, 2015.
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Summary:
In this piece, Emma L. Carter shares her views on love and relationships, expressing skepticism about the idea of soulmates. She emphasizes the importance of compatibility rather than perfection in love, highlighting that self-acceptance allows one to love others fully. Through personal experiences, she illustrates that while love requires effort, it should also be joyful and fulfilling.