It’s a bright morning. After serving breakfast to the kids, the youngest heads off to the bathroom for her routine visit. Everything seems fine until…
- Suddenly, you hear shrill screams echoing from the bathroom, a wild, primal sound that sends chills down your spine. This is quickly followed by whines and low moans.
- You cautiously approach the bathroom, turning the doorknob slowly, convinced it’s just a minor issue, but those sounds are concerning.
- You step inside and find your child hunched over, pushing and grunting. Her face is pale, and your heart sinks. “Mommy, the poop won’t come out,” she whimpers.
- Panic sets in. Is this really happening? This has never been a problem before. Could she be constipated? You rush to fetch her some water; after all, that should do the trick, right?
- The grunting continues, and it strikes you as oddly familiar. Those sounds remind you of the times you endured labor pains during childbirth, and you can’t help but feel sorry for your little one, facing her own painful struggle.
- You offer her comfort with hugs and kisses. Sure, it might seem a bit strange to embrace her while she’s on the toilet, but you’re a mom—what’s weird to you now?
- In a frantic search online, you’re overwhelmed by the plethora of remedies suggested to coax a little poop out of your child’s system.
- You realize how fortunate you’ve been; after several kids, this is your first encounter with such a situation. Your family is known for its regularity.
- Memories flood back of the post-C-section constipation saga from 2011 and again in 2013. You internally pray that this is nothing like those experiences.
- “What did it say online?” your child asks from the bathroom, and you wish you had a magical solution.
- You reassure her that everything will be okay, even though you’re secretly worried this might turn into one of your biggest parenting fails.
- Tears stream down her face as she cries, “Mommy, the poop is stuck.” You blink in disbelief. “Stuck?” you echo, fearing it could be worse than just constipation. “In my bottom,” she clarifies. You quickly chastise yourself for the inappropriate words that come to mind, wondering if you’ll need to intervene like you did (more times than you’d like to admit) with your dog once. The thought alone makes you gag.
- You plead silently, “Please don’t let it be stuck. I promise to be better. I’ll start attending church… I’ll even donate to charity.”
- You realize you might have to examine your child’s rear end. No big deal, you’ve tackled worse things in motherhood.
- Panic rises again when her sobs continue. You offer her some more comfort.
- Suggest a short break, because you both could use one.
- Suddenly, you feel the urge to use the toilet yourself. As you sit down, your child screams that she needs to use it too. Isn’t this just typical? You jump up quickly, only to have another child burst in with a Lego creation to show you, while the little one remains perched on her throne, hoping for a joyous occasion. Privacy is requested, and you step out.
- After a few anxious minutes, you re-enter the bathroom, wondering if you should encourage her to push. But then you think about childhood hemorrhoids and decide against it, vowing to research it later on. You should be prepared for next time. Suddenly, she exclaims, “Mommy, it’s good news! My poopie that wouldn’t come out… it finally came out!”
- She beckons you over to witness the “big event.” You groan inwardly as you step back into the bathroom for the second time today, realizing you’re once again evaluating feces.
- Relief washes over you as her body has done what it needed to do, sparing you from additional research, home remedies, or possibly a doctor’s visit. She wipes, washes her hands, and flushes the toilet. All is well again. Now, you just have to wait for your husband to come home so you can regale him with this morning’s saga.
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Summary:
This humorous recounting of a morning spent navigating a child’s unexpected bout of constipation highlights the relatable challenges of parenting. From the panic of hearing distressing sounds from the bathroom to the relief of a successful outcome, every parent can relate to the wild ride of childhood health issues.