I found myself in a peculiar situation recently—one where my breath felt shallow, my ribcage was constricted, and my mind was foggy. It turns out, I had unwittingly stepped into the realm of waist training, and honestly, I’m not sure if I want to stick around.
A few weeks back, I had a restless night spent binge-watching home shopping channels. I successfully resisted the urge to buy gadgets and quirky pumpkin vases. But then a familiar face from a reality show appeared, promoting her “life-changing” tank tops that promised a soft embrace. I was intrigued. Who doesn’t love a good hug, right?
She spoke candidly about feeling less than herself after becoming a mother, leading her to create shapewear that restored her confidence and glamour. Sure, I’m well past the postpartum phase—14 years, to be exact—but who wouldn’t want a little boost of self-assurance? As if that wasn’t enough, she touted the tanks as reversible and even threw in three matching pairs of underwear for free!
This seemed like the perfect way to spice up my fall wardrobe. The name “Yummie” made the product even more appealing. Hugs? Yummie? Count me in!
However, when I went to order, the small sizes were sold out, leaving me with the medium/large option. I hesitated; I usually fit a small. What if the size up meant losing the snug embrace I was after? I shouldn’t have fretted. When I finally wrestled myself into the first tank, it felt less like a gentle hug and more like being bear-hugged by Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
Once I wrangled my arms into the tank and situated my bust, I pulled down the extra-long fabric over my hips. Long tanks are a mom’s best friend, right? Who wants to risk a wardrobe malfunction while bending over? But the moment it reached my hips, the fabric snapped back up faster than a slap bracelet on a kid’s wrist.
When I finally managed to pull the fabric back down, my waist was cinched with an intensity I hadn’t experienced since the ’80s. After a brief respite, I slipped into the matching underwear; they were snug, reaching just below my bust. Not quite a corset, but definitely tight.
Looking in the mirror, my silhouette was reminiscent of an hourglass—though perhaps not Kardashian-level. My soft curves were firmly held in place by the sturdy fabric. I realized that if I wore this regularly, I might even stand a little taller and appear to have a slightly smaller waist. But then there was the issue of breathing.
If I committed to wearing this daily, I’d need reminders scattered throughout my home: “Take short, shallow breaths!” I’ve ultimately decided to keep the undies while saying goodbye to the tank tops, finding a balance in my shapewear journey. I think I’ll ask my daughter and husband for extra hugs and enjoy my treats in the form of ice cream—because that’s how it’s meant to be.
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In summary, shapewear can be a fun experience, but it’s not without its challenges. While I’ve chosen to forgo the waist-training tanks, I’m still embracing my curves in other ways.