Hey there, Mama. Are you feeling overwhelmed today? Did the morning routine feel like chaos? Are you fretting at the bottom of the stairs, thinking, “We’re late again! Why can’t we ever be on time?” As you hurriedly zip up coats and tie shoelaces, frustration builds. You might be exhausted, utterly drained.
Is your patience wearing thin, barely holding on? You didn’t even touch your lunch. “No cake!” you assert, while glancing at their smudged face. Are you hiding away in the bathroom, facing the door, just needing a moment of silence? Or maybe you’re still in the car after dropping them off at school, lamenting your outbursts, wishing you could have been more composed. You might even find yourself thumping your head against the steering wheel, thinking, “Why couldn’t I have been kinder today?”
Do you worry about their memories of you? Are you anxious that when they reflect on their childhood, all they’ll recall are your frustrations, forgotten snacks, and stressful mornings?
Take a deep breath, Mama. Relax. Trust that they won’t remember those moments. Children don’t catalog their experiences like a computer. They don’t keep track of every misstep or decision. They simply don’t, and they can’t.
As time goes by, they will look back on their childhood as a beautiful whole, filled with warmth from the best experiences. The little negatives that seem monumental now, all your perceived failures that twist your stomach, will fade into the background. That’s how it works.
Your children won’t recall the small mistakes. They won’t remember the time you forgot their lunch or even the moment you snapped, “Stop! My head can’t take any more!” when they practiced their French horn for hours on end.
If they do remember those instances, it will be filtered through a lens of love, perhaps recalling only that you read them two stories, despite your busy schedule. That’s how it works.
They’ll cherish the way your face brightened when they ran from school to your car, the first one in line, even on a snowy day. They will remember the footprints you left side by side, little boots and big boots together, as you playfully stomped up the driveway, catching snowflakes on your tongues. “Your cheeks are so rosy; we should go inside.” “Just one more minute, Mama.” And you’ll respond, “Okay, just one more minute.”
They’ll recall how you cupped your hand to shield their eyes while they bathed. They will remember the scent of your neck when you leaned down to kiss them goodnight, especially on the nights when it felt extra special.
They’ll think of those Wednesday night dance parties when their favorite song played on the radio. They won’t know you were reminiscing about a past love in a long blue prom dress; they’ll only see your joy as you twirled them around the kitchen floor, thinking, “Wow, Mama is so beautiful.” The thrill of dancing together will resonate deeply with them.
Your children will remember the silly jokes you told, even if they groan at them as they grow older. They’ll remember watching you apply mascara, leaning in close to the mirror, with your mouth slightly open, a half-slip and a beige bra revealing the beauty of motherhood in all its forms. They’ll recall those moments when they quietly observed you, soaking in every detail, creating memories.
They likely won’t remember that you burnt the pancakes. Instead, they’ll treasure the Sundays filled with Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, licking icing off the butter knife with delight. They’ll remember when you yelled, how you followed it with “I’m sorry,” and the reassurance that “Mama isn’t perfect, but she loves you so much.”
You might doubt this, but think back to your own childhood. What do you remember? Then, ask your children about their recent experiences. They’ll share their memories of being two, three, four, six, and eight.
They won’t focus on the little slip-ups. They won’t recall the day you lost your patience or that you swore once or twice. So be gentle with yourself. See yourself through your children’s eyes. Remember what they will hold dear and trust that they won’t dwell on your imperfections.
They will remember you were present, that you loved them, and that you tried your hardest. Those are the most important memories they will carry with them.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out our other posts, or if you want to explore pregnancy options, visit Healthline for excellent resources.
Summary:
In the whirlwind of parenting, it’s easy to fixate on the difficult moments and feel overwhelmed by mistakes. However, children often remember the love, joy, and meaningful experiences more than the small hiccups. They will cherish the joyful moments spent together, the dances, the laughter, and the comforting presence of their parents. It’s essential to be kind to yourself and trust that your children will remember the love and effort you put into raising them.