Welcome to week three of my adventure as a parent of a kindergartner and a preschooler! After three weeks of getting my little ones up, dressed, fed, and out the door, I’ve come to realize that our morning routine is as intricate as a space shuttle launch—well, almost. Here’s how our morning unfolds in 41 chaotic steps.
- The Wake-Up Call. My youngest, a toddler, greets the day with enthusiastic yells. Since my older child needs a bit more sleep, I rush into the room like a rescue squad, scoop up my 90-pound toddler (my back might be protesting), and carry him to our bedroom. I pray the kindergartner stays asleep a little longer.
- The Early Riser. Just 30 seconds later, the kindergartner wakes up, grumpy and tired.
- Breakfast Battles. Is it possible for two kids to eat any slower? It feels less like breakfast and more like a protest against hunger.
- Time Anxiety. This is when I start obsessively checking the time on my phone. I lay out the kindergartner’s clothes and encourage him to dress himself.
- The Struggle. After a few minutes of indecision, I end up dressing my 5-year-old, who has gone completely limp. “Mommy,” he giggles, “I’m a baby!”
- Water Mishap. My toddler manages to spill a cup of water all over the kitchen floor, soaking my socks. As I clean up the breakfast mess, I somehow spill dishwater on my blouse. Time for a wardrobe change!
- Laundry Woes. Sadly, there are no clean socks or blouses left. I resign myself to being a bit damp.
- Frantic Rush. I enter a whirlwind of activity, trying to get myself dressed, brush my teeth, pack my bag, and help the kids with their sweaters and socks.
- Compromises. One child has brushed his teeth, and that will have to do for today. I’ll fix it tonight.
- Paperwork Madness. There are countless permission slips to sign, most requiring checks or my time. I randomly sign a few, stuff them in the kindergartner’s backpack, and hope he doesn’t miss an important field trip.
- Gentle Prodding. “Please put on your shoes, sweetheart.”
- 12 to 36. The ongoing shoe situation.
- The Final Straw. I finally snap and yell, “Put on your shoes!” As I wrestle my son into his sneakers, he insists, “Mommy, I’m a dinosaur!” Meanwhile, my work bag, which I slung over my shoulder just minutes ago, slides down and hits me in the head.
- Escaping the House. We finally make it outside, and I lock the door behind us as my partner takes the toddler.
- Change of Plans. We rush back inside to grab a raincoat. I consider switching my shoes for boots but decide against it.
- Shoe Sacrifice. My shoes are now ruined.
- School Drop-off. I leave my kindergartner at the school entrance with a kiss, eagerly awaiting six hours of freedom. So what if I’m a little damp and hoarse from yelling? The kid is in school, and I can finally breathe.
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In summary, mornings with kids can be a hilarious, chaotic adventure. Despite the mess and noise, there’s a sense of accomplishment when the chaos subsides and the kids are off to school, even if I’m a bit soggy and frazzled.