My dear friend Dave and his partner are on the brink of welcoming their second child. As the experienced older sister and self-proclaimed expert in all things parenthood, I feel it’s my responsibility to share some crucial insights on navigating this new phase of parenthood. After having a few (okay, seven) kids myself, I’m eager to pass on some wisdom that can help you avoid unnecessary pitfalls.
Embrace the Hum of Reality
If you come home to find your partner serenely humming “Amazing Grace” on the porch, take heed. This is a signal that she’s reached her limit and needs a moment of peace. Don’t interrupt her humming; instead, quietly step into the chaotic living room. Hold the crying baby while you tackle the mess—yes, the poop and crayon marks on the couch. This moment captures her entire day, and it’s no surprise she feels overwhelmed. You might think, “it’s just two kids,” but trust me, it feels like a dozen. So, grab that mop.
Show Extra Love
Make sure to shower your partner with affection. Give her hugs, stroke her hair, and resist the urge to comment on her oil-slicked hair or the fact that her leg hair rivals yours. She may not have had a proper shower in days, so keep those observations to yourself. Instead, tell her how stunning she looks as a mother. A little white lie can go a long way.
Skip the Workout Queries
Let’s be realistic—your partner won’t be hitting the gym any time soon after welcoming a new life. She’s not about to jump into Zumba just a week postpartum. Her focus will likely be on emotional ups and downs rather than exercise. If she finds the energy to groove to “Thriller,” recognize that it’s a sign she desperately needs a break.
Prepare Meals
While you’re at it, take on the role of chef. Your partner might be surviving on Goldfish crackers and string cheese, so whip up something nutritious for both of you. Just remember to clean the kitchen afterward—not to the point where she feels guilty, but enough to show you care. If you’re uncertain about finding that balance, skip the cleaning and just order takeout from a local spot.
Be the Baby Holder
If your partner asks you to hold the baby, don’t just set them down. This misstep could lead to her questioning your intelligence. Hold that baby for as long as she needs to have a moment—whether it’s to eat or even just breathe without distractions.
Master One-Handed Eating
To truly bond with your partner, try eating dinner with one hand while the other holds a slippery, squirming infant. It’s a skill that will earn you some serious parenting points. Just imagine, you’ll be a multitasking pro in no time.
The Golden Rule: Don’t Wake a Sleeping Mom
If your partner finally catches a break and drifts off to sleep, for the love of all that’s holy, do not disturb her! There are very few acceptable reasons for waking a sleeping mother. A tornado warning? Sure. Asking if she remembers your fantasy sports password? Absolutely not. Let her enjoy those precious moments of rest.
In closing, there are countless tips I could share, but I don’t want to give you too much of an advantage. Embrace this time with your growing family; these challenging days will soon be memories. Your partner will regain her normalcy, and the baby will eventually sleep through the night. You may not get everything right, but you won’t mess up too badly either—unless you forget the octopus order!
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