Recently, I came across a quote on Facebook by a well-known author that said, “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” I wholeheartedly resonate with that sentiment. Anyone who knows me can attest to my affinity for embracing life’s delightful chaos.
Life’s messiness often originates from our kids, but sometimes we create our own chaos, or it simply ambushes us. While I don’t mind the messes that life throws our way, I do take issue with the lengthy commentary that accompanied that meme. The author declared her stance “Against BALANCE…” and argued that for many women, balance has come to signify perfection. I agree that this conflation is problematic, but balance should still be a priority.
Balance, by definition, is “an even distribution of weight that allows someone or something to remain upright and steady.” As parents, we strive to maintain our stability, and even those without children desire a sense of equilibrium in their lives. Sure, there are times we lose our balance—when life unexpectedly throws us off course—but we always want to regain our footing.
One major challenge we face as women is confusing balance with the notion of doing it all. It’s simply unfeasible. The author touched on her personal journey to find balance, mentioning the essentials she focused on: nourishment, spirituality, and love. While her approach may not have been perfectly balanced, it eventually led her to a place of happiness.
However, to cultivate a truly balanced life, we need to incorporate other essential elements as well: exercise, work, family time, relationship nurturing, social connections, and moments of fun. The reality is, we often can’t do everything at once. Even if we try to evenly distribute our priorities, there’s only so much weight that our balance beam can handle before it breaks.
Achieving balance requires making choices. For instance, exercise might be on one side of the scale while family time is on the other. As you fill your seesaw with these vital components, it becomes evident that the big-ticket items need to be prioritized. When they aren’t, achieving balance feels nearly impossible.
Then, there are the other responsibilities—housework, cooking, DIY projects, vacations, and volunteer commitments. The list can feel endless. It’s crucial to recognize our limitations and make deliberate choices. Unexpected challenges—like a spilled gallon of milk or a forgotten school event—can tip the scales, and we must find ways to recalibrate.
That ambitious birthday cake you planned to bake? Maybe this year, a store-bought one will suffice. Your grand renovation idea? It might be best to put that on hold. It’s natural to desire to do it all, but sanity often depends on recognizing that it simply isn’t feasible.
Life does present moments when everything aligns perfectly, but then life intervenes—perhaps a loved one faces a health crisis, or your car breaks down. These disruptions require us to reassess our balance. When something unexpected weighs down one side of the scale, instead of adding more to the other side, consider what can be removed to ease the load.
And yes, don’t hesitate to seek help. Have you ever watched a skilled gymnast perform on a balance beam? They often have a spotter, especially when attempting complex moves. This is an obstacle many women face—believing that seeking assistance equates to failure. In reality, having a support system can help restore your equilibrium. Your spotter could be a friend, a therapist, or even a coworker.
When you reach a point where you can identify daily priorities and seek help when necessary, you’re achieving balance. And that balance is invaluable.
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Summary:
Finding balance in life, especially as a parent, is a challenging yet essential endeavor. It’s crucial to differentiate between balance and perfection, prioritize essential tasks, and recognize when to seek help. By embracing the messiness of life and making conscious choices, we can work toward a more balanced existence.