I was at the park with my young son when he leaned over a stroller housing a 1-year-old girl. The baby grabbed his hand, and the other mother chuckled, saying, “Oh, she’s such a flirt!”
If you’re reading this, you might be thinking I’m making too big of a deal out of a seemingly innocent remark. Still, I can’t help but feel uneasy about comments like that. It’s unsettling when adults describe their babies as flirty or refer to kids as having boyfriends or girlfriends.
When someone remarks, “She’s so coy,” after a baby engages briefly before losing interest, it implies an intention that simply isn’t there. Babies are just that—babies. They engage and then move on, not because they’re plotting, but because they’re little ones who become bored quickly. Describing that behavior as coy suggests some kind of manipulative charm, which is a troubling notion.
Our society begins to enforce gender roles at an alarmingly young age, and children often pick up on these cues. Comments like “she’s such a flirt” can lead to more serious implications later on, such as the idea that girls are responsible for managing male attention, even in their teenage years.
Yes, this might seem trivial. But our culture is built on countless small comments and behaviors that, when added together, create a larger narrative. For instance, during the St. Paul’s rape case, a relative remarked, “I’m glad you didn’t put yourself in a situation like that in high school.” While meant to be reassuring, it placed the responsibility for safety squarely on girls, ignoring the actions of boys. It’s a small comment, yet it reveals a troubling attitude toward women and their role in relationships.
Furthermore, labeling kids as “boyfriend and girlfriend” is equally concerning. It trivializes innocent friendships and adds unnecessary pressure. I remember adults making similar comments about my childhood friendships, and it felt like it changed the nature of those relationships.
I’ll admit, I once found it cute to think about my son and his little friends growing up together, but the truth is, they are just pals at this age. No one is flirting; they’re simply kids.
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In summary, we should be cautious about the language we use when discussing children’s behavior. Labels like ‘flirt’ or ‘boyfriend’ impose adult expectations on innocent interactions, potentially influencing how they view relationships in the future. Let’s celebrate their friendships without adding unnecessary layers of complexity.