Hey there, Twentysomething Yogi:
I couldn’t help but catch your conversation before class where you expressed a desire to rewind time and relive the ’90s. Then I spotted you taking a #blessed selfie with your perfectly manicured toes and that trendy SmartWater. Honestly, I’m not convinced the ’90s would suit you.
The Reality of the ’90s
Firstly, if you were living in that decade, you wouldn’t find yourself in this sleek yoga studio. Instead, you’d be at a stuffy gym with mirrored walls, waiting for step aerobics while a guy in weightlifting pants tried to chat you up. Let’s be real: you’d probably loathe it, but back then, that kind of attention was often mistaken for flirting. You’d turn away in frustration, counting down the seconds until class began.
But wait—do you realize that Tinder wasn’t a thing in the ’90s? Meeting guys meant awkwardly striking up conversations with strangers. Getting a phone number scrawled on a napkin felt like a victory, akin to a right swipe today. Spoiler alert: most of the time, it didn’t happen. The ’90s were a lonely place in many ways.
Communication and Connection
And think about it—there was no Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Hashtags were something you might associate with the Red Light District in Amsterdam. Vacation photos gathered dust in albums, dinners were shared in person, and random musings were jotted down in journals. When you made plans, you had to stick to them because cell phones didn’t exist yet. Canceling? Not an option.
Communication relied on landlines and old-school phone books. We wrote letters sent through the mail, and when we finally got email addresses, it was like magic—despite the clunky character limits. Our dial-up Internet monopolized the phone line, so if you were waiting for a call from that cute guy at the gym, well, good luck! As you might say, the struggle was very real.
Fashion and Culture
It’s a common misconception that everyone in the ’90s had the perfect Rachel haircut. The truth? It looked fabulous in the salon but often turned into a Carol Brady nightmare at home. And let’s not forget the mullets—those were everywhere! Your boss had one, your boyfriend had one, even Princess Diana rocked one.
I’ll give you credit: you missed out on some fantastic music. However, for every iconic Billy Corgan, there was a Billy Ray Cyrus. For every Radiohead, there was a Right Said Fred. And yes, the Macarena? It was truly a cultural phenomenon.
You might think ’90s fashion is all about the Aztec print fanny pack, and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. But would you dare wear it with a mock turtleneck, high-waisted Girbaud jeans, and white sneakers? You would back then—without a hint of shame. And you’d smell strongly of CK One and secondhand smoke, as smoking was rampant—sometimes even in restaurants! Crazy, right?
Drama and Nostalgia
While the ’90s didn’t have Kim Kardashian, it did have Robert Kardashian, and that was a whole different kind of drama. We were engrossed in the O.J. Simpson trial, sacrificing months of daytime TV for it. We fretted over a certain navy blue dress, mad cow disease, and Y2K.
That said, your nostalgia is understandable. The ’90s had their charm, but it wasn’t the decade-long Coachella that Urban Outfitters likes to portray. Enjoy your selfies and SmartWater in this era. Someday, you’ll reflect on your own generation and recognize just how #blessed you truly were.
But until then? Let’s keep the past where it belongs.
Namaste,
The Eavesdropping Middle-Aged Lady at Yoga
P.S. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this other blog post. It’s a great resource, especially when paired with information from Make a Mom, who are truly experts in the field. For further insights, the CDC offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This humorous letter addresses a twentysomething yoga enthusiast who romanticizes the ’90s. It contrasts the conveniences of modern life with the struggles of that decade, including social interactions and communication methods. While acknowledging the charm of the ’90s, the author ultimately encourages appreciation for the current era.