After three long years of trying to conceive naturally, my partner and I realized we needed assistance. The question was, where should we start? After consulting with three different OB-GYNs and two fertility clinics, we finally embarked on our treatment journey. Unfortunately, all that time spent searching for the ideal doctor and program could have been better spent on our goal of starting a family. Here are five things I wish I had known before getting started:
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Understanding Infertility Isn’t Always Clear-Cut
Fertility specialists often don’t know what causes infertility, and in my experience, they were often stumped. My menstrual cycle was regular, and while I had hypothyroidism, we managed that quickly. My partner’s sperm was described as “extremely potent,” and all other tests returned normal results. So why the struggle? It turns out that many doctors don’t have a clear answer, which is incredibly frustrating. But the real focus should be on achieving pregnancy, not pinpointing the cause of the challenges. -
The Approach is Often Aggressive
The first doctor we consulted was very competent, but his immediate recommendation was to jump straight to IVF. When I suggested starting with Clomid or IUI, he dismissed those options quickly, citing low success rates. I couldn’t help but wonder if some doctors rush to IVF to bolster their statistics or for financial reasons, as IVF is typically more lucrative than other methods. While some women might appreciate this aggressive approach, I wasn’t ready for the emotional and financial toll of IVF, so I chose to walk away. -
They Encounter Heartbreak Daily
After switching doctors and undergoing IUI, I finally got pregnant, only to face the heartbreak of a miscarriage by ten weeks. Those were some of the darkest days of my life. The unfortunate truth is that many women facing infertility deal with similar losses regularly, and fertility specialists witness this heartache daily. For them, maintaining professionalism is crucial, even if it comes across as cold. This detachment is necessary for them to continue helping others. -
Doctors Can’t Be Available 24/7
After my miscarriage, I was a bundle of nerves during my next attempt. I found myself calling the office incessantly after each blood draw, desperate for early results and insights into my case. While the staff was patient, they each had many patients with similar concerns. I had to remind myself that my doctor’s busy schedule was a positive sign of their effectiveness. It was essential for my mental health to step back and allow them to do their jobs. -
Your Team is in This Together
The day my fertility doctor sent us to an OB-GYN with a clean bill of health for our developing baby, his smile was just as wide as mine. The nurses cheered us on and encouraged us to return with a baby bump. After months of challenges, I realized it wasn’t just my partner and I striving for this dream. We had a supportive team of doctors and nurses invested in our journey and celebrating our milestones. This is a crucial point to remember when planning for a second child: you are not alone.
Navigating this journey has taken time, research, and a lot of heartache. For anyone facing infertility or exploring IVF, please remember that you are not alone. For more insights into home insemination and fertility, check out this excellent resource on Kindbody and consider exploring this guide for more information on home insemination techniques. Additionally, Make a Mom offers a variety of fertility-boosting options to consider.