Let me clarify from the start: I’m not an overly strict mother. My kids watch TV, indulge in snacks that maybe glow in the dark, and I genuinely don’t care how others choose to raise their children. While I emphasize the importance of good manners, my main goal is to send my kids out into the world clean, fed, and (mostly) happy. And honestly, that’s a pretty solid accomplishment on most days.
Before I became a parent, I was the type who wouldn’t speak up even if a goose honked at me. Fast forward to now, and I occasionally find myself in confrontations with strangers.
When my son was my only child, I was constantly apologizing for his behavior. If he cried in public, I would spin around, desperately making eye contact with people to express my regret for the disturbance. If I had focused more on comforting him instead, he probably would have cried a lot less. I often felt the need to explain why he was upset, assuring strangers that he was, indeed, a wonderful baby. Looking back, I cringe at how I handled those moments; after all, he was just a baby, and crying is part of the package.
Then came my first daughter, and managing two small children in public became a challenge. Their knack for asking embarrassing questions and competing in dramatic “I can’t believe we have to leave fun” meltdowns made me care less about what others thought.
When someone would ask, “Oh dear! Are they tired?” I’d respond honestly, “No, just naughty.” And when offered unsolicited advice, my attitude shifted dramatically. The old me would have considered their suggestions; the new me simply replies with a firm “No.”
With the arrival of my second daughter, I was thrust into a new realm of unsolicited advice and public criticism. My youngest, who can scream, kick, and throw tantrums with remarkable vigor, tested my patience like no other. Strangers’ interest in my approach to her tantrums was overwhelming, usually from a specific type of person—the eye-rollers and the “Oh dear!” crowd.
During a recent six-hour train ride with my three kids—ages 6, 3, and 2—my youngest had a single meltdown. The train was packed, and she desperately wanted to walk up the aisle. Suddenly, she exploded into a fit of tears, hitting me with her book and escalating her cries. Even my older children were embarrassed.
Out of the blue, a woman, probably in her 50s, pushed her way through the crowd to us. With a furrowed brow, she leaned down and aggressively shushed my daughter, wagging her finger and loudly declaring, “That’s enough!” I was taken aback, unable to respond as she stared me down.
Before I could react, my 3-year-old burst out, “Don’t shout at my sister! That’s her job!” She was right. Until our children reach school age—or perhaps 20—only my husband and I have the authority to discipline them. I might appear to be out of control, but sometimes I truly don’t mind if they’re being a little annoying.
After the woman left as abruptly as she came, I had a choice: blow up in frustration or let it slide. Just as I was about to choose the latter, a kind lady across the aisle tapped my shoulder. “I’m not trying to interfere,” she said as my youngest tried to turn me into a human fishing pole, “but do you want my seat? I’m getting off soon, and it seems like you could use it more than I can.”
I nearly cried. Grateful that I hadn’t lashed out at the shushing woman, I realized that my calm response had turned me into the wronged heroine of my own chaotic narrative.
So, the next time you feel the urge to apologize for your child’s tantrum or are tempted to retaliate against rude strangers, take a deep breath. Remember, the good folks outnumber the rude ones, and you’re not alone in this parenting journey. If you’re looking for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, be sure to check out this excellent resource here. And for those interested in a home insemination kit, visit Make A Mom for expert advice. For even more tips, explore more posts on Intracervical Insemination.
Summary:
Navigating parenting in public can be challenging, especially when faced with unsolicited advice from strangers. One mother’s journey through a chaotic train ride with her children highlights the importance of staying calm and recognizing that support often outweighs criticism. Ultimately, it’s about knowing that you’re doing your best and that it’s okay to embrace the chaos.