I recently had a moment that made me realize I’m morphing into my mother.
This was not part of the plan—especially not at my age. My sister and I used to laugh about how our mom was becoming more like Grandma. We would chuckle, thinking, “That will never happen to us!” But as the years rolled on, we found ourselves gracefully entering a new decade, pretending not to acknowledge it. We could easily hide those pesky gray hairs and embrace our “middle-age stretch” with trendy blousy tops and stretchy jeans. After all, we still felt young at heart… mostly.
Then came that fateful afternoon after a heated disagreement with my teenage son. I heard my own voice exclaim, “Liam Andrew Smith (name changed to protect the not-so-innocent), if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?!” I was aghast. The words tumbled out, echoing phrases I had heard countless times during my own teenage years. I called my sister to share my shock. “Oh, I get it,” she replied. “I’ve caught myself saying things Mom would say, too.”
Even though she’s younger than I am, she had started her family earlier and was slightly ahead on this slippery slope. “I didn’t want to believe it was happening,” she admitted. As we compared notes, we found we’d been channeling our mother for years without even realizing it.
Familiar Phrases
“Don’t make me come in there!” “Don’t speak to me like that.” “It’s for your own good.” “I have eyes in the back of my head.” “While you live under my roof…” “Close the door; do you think we live in a barn?” “Do as I say, not as I do.” “Do you think money grows on trees?” “Because I’m the mom.” “Because I said so.”
These catchphrases varied depending on the age of our children. We started with the basics for the little ones and gradually transitioned into the more advanced Mother Talk, racking up credits toward our inevitable graduation.
The moment you realize that your mother’s voice is coming out of your mouth instead of that calm, collected adult you thought you were—that’s your graduation day. You suddenly understand that you’re on a fast track down a path you never wanted to travel.
During our youthful years, we believed we were immune to such transformations. We were fierce, self-sufficient women, not destined to echo our mother’s words. “I’ll count to three.” “I’ve had it up to here!” “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Old phrases come flooding back, and it hits me: I’ve been my mother all along. This metamorphosis didn’t sneak up on me in my 40s; I’ve been her, just dressed in different clothing and makeup to mask the truth I was hesitant to confront.
“I’ll treat you like an adult when you act like one.” I suppose I am officially an adult now.
I owe my mom an apology for all those times we laughed about her becoming Grandma Jones. And while I’m at it, I should also say sorry for every time I talked back, for the times I didn’t clean my room properly—just shoved everything under the bed—and for all the lies I told about where I was or what I was up to. I regret the moments I didn’t appreciate her sacrifices.
“If I told you once, I told you a thousand times…” Yes, you probably did, and now I’m saying those same things to my children.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, twist my face slightly, and squint. There she is—my mother. Perhaps this aging process isn’t as daunting as I once thought.
Resources for Your Journey
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Conclusion
In summary, as we navigate the complexities of motherhood, it’s both amusing and humbling to realize we may be turning into our own mothers, echoing their wisdom and quirks. This transformation may come with age, but it’s all part of the journey of growth and understanding.