Several years back, I enrolled in online courses at my local community college, pursuing a paralegal degree that I was incredibly passionate about. This meant long nights spent studying Excel and Word formatting after my then-four-year-old daughter had fallen asleep. It was a challenging time, to say the least.
To keep myself company during those late hours, I had a lineup of sitcoms and stand-up specials playing in the background on Netflix. I watched “The Ellen Show” a couple of times, along with every special by Chris Rock that I could find. When I needed a little comfort, I would curl up with a blanket and rewatch “The Parent Trap.”
My daughter’s age was particularly trying. She had a knack for escaping out the door whenever she pleased, even when we were living in a small apartment next to a busy road. Showering became a logistical nightmare; I had to secure the main door with a chain latch high enough to keep her from reaching it. Grocery shopping was a challenge too—she loved to bolt into the floral department, throwing tantrums when I refused to buy her yet another stuffed animal.
Emotionally, I was in a rough place. I had moved away from her dad, something he criticized me for. To him, I was a failure; selfish for wanting to pursue my education instead of immediately seeking employment to get off government assistance. The pressure of being on food stamps pushed me to strive for perfection. I didn’t want to be seen as part of the stereotype that often accompanies welfare. Each time my daughter resisted getting dressed or refused to leave the house, I felt like I was failing at the one job that truly mattered: being a parent.
Then one night, I heard Chris Rock say, “If you’re trying to leave with a group and one person just won’t put their shoes on, that person is a total jerk.” I couldn’t help but laugh. The next morning, when my daughter refused to wear her shoes and kept kicking them off, I felt lighter. For the first time, I didn’t spiral into self-doubt. Instead, I chuckled to myself, determined not to let her drama affect my mood.
Chris Rock’s comedy, along with his show “Everybody Hates Chris,” helped me navigate those tough years. While my daughter’s behavior often seemed to escalate, I learned to cope. In moments of frustration, when I felt like screaming, I started to take a deep breath and remind myself that kids can be, well, a little difficult at times.
Similarly, the character of Betty in “The Middle” became one of my role models. Her blend of humor and resilience resonated with me immensely. Even in her messy, chaotic life, she always found a way to keep her family grounded. As a single mom cleaning bathrooms, I admired her lack of shame about the work she did to support her family.
Betty’s straightforwardness and commitment to authenticity inspired me during those sleepless nights filled with homework. I loved how she celebrated her kids’ unique personalities. For example, when her daughter started experiencing teenage challenges, Betty responded with humor and honesty, reminding me to embrace my daughter’s quirks without dwelling on my own feelings.
Additionally, the film “The Parent Trap” presented valuable lessons about being true to oneself while allowing my daughters the freedom to be who they are. Though my style may not match that of the glamorous character Annie, I strive to walk with confidence, head high and shoulders back.
Years later, I welcomed a second daughter into the world, who is a whirlwind of determination and joy. Watching her navigate the world feels entirely different than it did with my first. I’ve learned to separate her emotional outbursts from my own parenting, recognizing that her frustrations might stem from hunger or tiredness, rather than any failure on my part. I don’t see her tears over a small inconvenience as a reflection of my abilities. Rather, I celebrate her unique spirit—before she could even walk, she was already dancing.
In summary, the journey of motherhood has taught me resilience, humor, and the importance of embracing our children’s individuality. Through the lens of television and comedy, I’ve found invaluable insights that have shaped my parenting style, allowing me to face challenges with a smile.
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