Recently, I’ve been dealing with a slight sore throat—nothing severe, just a mild discomfort that mostly bothers me when I gulp down that first glass of water in the morning. While I haven’t made an appointment with a healthcare professional just yet, I find myself mulling over the potential culprits: could it be allergies, stress, postnasal drip, or maybe the initial signs of throat cancer?
Though my rational side reassures me it’s likely one of the benign options, I can’t shake the lingering thought of something more sinister. It’s the same struggle I face when trying to distinguish between simple gas pains and the warning signs of a heart attack, or a pulled muscle and a blood clot. Yes, I’m a cyberchondriac.
“Cyberchondria” is described by Microsoft Research as “the unwarranted intensification of fears regarding common symptoms, driven by online searches and medical literature.” In simpler terms, I often convince myself that I’m suffering from some rare, exotic illness simply by Googling a symptom that I might be experiencing. The more vague the symptom, the longer my list of potential life-threatening diseases to investigate, and the deeper I find myself in various health forums. I can’t even count how many times I’ve stumbled into a chat room discussing leprosy.
Like many quirky mental habits that seem to run in my family, I suspect this one is hereditary. As a kid, I watched my mother obsessively flip through an outdated medical encyclopedia ominously titled “Women’s Diseases,” all in an effort to pinpoint her latest array of ailments. “Have you ever heard of idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura?” she would ask casually while sitting cross-legged on the floor, thumbing through the yellowed pages. “Because I think I have it.”
I can’t recall if I was worried about inheriting her knack for dramatic self-diagnosis (unless I have amnesia or early-onset Alzheimer’s, which are always remote possibilities). Growing up just before the internet boom meant I lacked access to the vast array of online health resources available today. Instead, I improvised by comparing my symptoms to those of friends and family.
“My arm aches. Remember Aunt Edna? Her arm hurt right before she had a stroke.”
“Yes, but she was 89 and mostly bedridden, while you’re 15 and about to go roller-skating.”
“Still…”
My makeshift medical research methods have evolved alongside the increase in available online information. I have developed a near-inseparable bond with WebMD, which recently informed me that the trendy label for my condition is “somatic symptom disorder”—essentially a disorder centered on body symptoms. And for each new symptom I experience, a bewildering array of potential diseases awaits my exploration.
If I happen to have a headache, as is often the case, I can be overwhelmed by the more than 65 illnesses linked to a “sudden onset dull headache,” according to the WebMD Symptom Tracker. Sure, a tension headache might be the most probable explanation, but how can I completely rule out a migraine, meningitis, or even Cryptococcus, a fungus found in bird droppings? I do live near birds, after all.
I often wonder why I can’t seem to apply common sense and practicality to my self-assessments (my toe hurts because I stubbed it, not because of some rare nerve disorder). Perhaps I feel compelled to consider the worst-case scenario to safeguard myself against reality. It could be that assuming the worst just feels safer. Or maybe I just believe I’m too unique for a simple cold.
One might think I spend a considerable amount of time in the emergency room, chatting with nurses and doctors during their breaks, but the truth is that my obsessive tendencies usually keep me at home. By the time I’ve scoured the internet for every possible disorder, my symptoms have often vanished. Eventually, I must sheepishly admit that it was probably just allergies to my husband, who stands before me with a smug smile.
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In summary, while my tendency to spiral into the depths of online health searches can be comedic, it’s also a reflection of a common struggle with anxiety and self-diagnosis. It’s a reminder that sometimes, our minds can lead us astray, and the simplest explanation is often the correct one.