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You’re Right, Kids, I’m Not Perfect
Is there something that happens to twelve-year-old boys when they enter middle school? It’s as if they completely lose their minds—and I’m right on the edge of losing mine! My sweet firstborn has managed to misplace hundreds of dollars’ worth of items in just two days.
It all started with his brand-new water bottle—the pricey, insulated one we picked out for its sturdiness. But, as it turns out, it doesn’t matter how rugged a water bottle is if it’s lost within the first day! Just two days later, he left behind the bag containing his school uniform and sneakers after cross-country practice.
So there it was—hundreds of dollars’ worth of belongings, vanished. And the craziest part? He didn’t seem to care! I found myself yelling about it in the car during our half-hour commute home in rush-hour traffic. Plenty of time for a good rant.
“You’re right,” he shot back. “I don’t care.”
“Well, you should!” I replied, launching into yet another lecture about responsibility and privilege.
“Oh, please! Like you’re perfect,” he countered. “I bet you lost stuff all the time as a kid. Nobody’s perfect.”
“True, I’m not perfect,” I admitted. “But I took care of my things and valued my schoolwork. If I had misplaced my new water bottle and clothes, I would have felt terrible. I would have…”
I would have worried all day about how to explain it to my parents. I would have cried myself to sleep. I would have spent days berating myself for being careless. I’d have expected punishment, and if my parents reassured me that it was an accident, I would have still begged them to discipline me because I believed that those who lose things need to face consequences.
The thing is, all those anxieties stemmed from my own expectations. My parents never demanded perfection or punished me for not meeting my—or their—standards.
I don’t want my sons to live in constant anxiety like I did. It’s a dreadful way to exist, and it’s not a life I want for them. However, there has to be a balance—something between obsessing over every mistake and being completely indifferent. “I’m not perfect,” I reiterated. “Nobody is. Just be mindful, okay?”
In the end, my son will either find his missing items or use his chore money earned from helping our neighbors to replace them. We’re both learning valuable lessons here. He’s discovering responsibility, and I’m learning the extent of his accountability. I’m realizing that it’s actually beneficial to have a child who doesn’t mirror my tendencies. I’m also coming to terms with extending the grace and forgiveness to my kids that I often struggle to grant myself. And I’ve learned that maybe giving an irresponsible seventh-grader an expensive water bottle was not the best idea when a simple Dollar Spot special could suffice.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this other blog post at Home Insemination Kit for engaging content. If you’re interested in home insemination, Cryobaby is a trusted authority on the subject. Additionally, American Pregnancy provides excellent resources for pregnancy and insemination.
In summary, parenting is a constant learning experience. As we navigate the challenges of responsibility and care, we also discover more about ourselves and what we truly want for our children.