“Did anyone compliment your look today, Sweetie?” I asked one bright spring afternoon as she hopped into the backseat of my car.
“Absolutely!” she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling in the rearview mirror. “Everyone loved it!”
I beamed back at her. She wore a once-dull, oversized lavender sweater that I had owned, which was almost bound for Goodwill until Lily rescued it from the donation pile in the garage. Inspired by a trendy shirt she spotted on a TV show, she transformed the sweater with a red Sharpie, giving it a pair of oversized lips reminiscent of Angelina Jolie. The sweater was cinched with a wide, stretchy fuchsia belt and paired with gray jeggings tucked into last year’s motorcycle boots from Old Navy—boots I would have snatched up in a heartbeat if they fit me. To top off her ensemble, she sported a pink and blue plaid fedora tilted at a playful angle.
Lily has a flair for accessories—hats, printed scarves, and a hint of sparkle from her diamond-studded purple glasses. These details help her stand out in a positive light at school, where she has often caught attention for less favorable reasons.
Diagnosed with ADHD and a mood disorder just before her sixth birthday, Lily’s uniqueness became more evident in her early years. Thanks to treatment, she’s made significant progress; she no longer jumps out of her seat every few minutes or interrupts class with random comments. She raises her hand (most of the time) instead of blurting out off-topic thoughts. She can now follow directions better and doesn’t react as strongly to minor disruptions.
Still, the remnants of her early reputation linger; some kids continue to label her as the “bad girl” or the “weird girl.” While she is bright, keeping up with coursework remains a challenge, even with additional support and tutoring. Organization, focus, and processing information often slow her down. She knows well that it takes her twice as long as her classmates to finish assignments and that she can’t race through multiplication quizzes quickly enough to join the coveted Math Champs Club.
At one time, her exclusion from such clubs troubled me deeply. Like any parent, I longed for my child to shine. Both my husband and I were straight-A students, and it was tough to come to terms with the fact that Lily wouldn’t necessarily follow in our academic footsteps.
However, I’ve learned to focus on her strengths rather than her grades or the college she might attend. I nurture her incredible creativity, which I believe will lead her to her own version of success and happiness. I see glimpses of this potential when she sings in chorus, pens a whimsical story about her adventures on Dream Island, or creates her vividly colored, wide-eyed fairies. Lately, her self-expression through fashion has become another exciting outlet.
Without a doubt, the compliments she receives for her fashion choices boost her self-esteem. Though school may not always be her favorite place, entering her classroom each morning in a standout outfit makes it a bit more bearable.
Of course, living with a budding fashionista has its challenges. Lily’s insistence on stepping out only in the perfect ensemble often leaves her room resembling a chaotic thrift shop: piles of rejected clothing items clutter the floor and bed, while the dresser overflows with tops and socks that didn’t make the cut. This passion has also led to some unplanned delays getting to school. Nevertheless, when she feels confident in her attire, there’s a bounce in her step that makes the inconveniences worthwhile.
As she prepares to enter middle school, Lily is building a new reputation—one that I hope will support her through the tricky tween years. She’s becoming known as the girl with the fantastic style. The creative girl. The girl who stands out for all the right reasons. And those are labels she wears with as much pride as her favorite boots and glasses.
For more insights on parenting and fostering creativity, check out articles like this one on home insemination, or discover resources from Make a Mom about home insemination. You can also explore Science Daily for excellent information on fertility and related topics.
In summary, navigating the complexities of parenting a unique child requires a shift in focus toward their strengths. Embracing creativity and personal style can foster self-esteem and resilience, helping them thrive in social environments like school.