Why Moms Don’t Get Sick Days

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Many families I know have carefully crafted schedules. They’ve mapped out who stays home and who heads to work, often bringing in a sitter, enrolling in daycare, or calling on Grandma for help. A colorful calendar usually hangs on the fridge, detailing childcare plans, after-school activities, medical appointments, and holidays. It all functions smoothly—as long as everyone sticks to the plan and arrives on time.

But everything changes when Mom falls ill. At the first sign of a fever or nausea, every mom I know thinks, “Oh no, not now! I can’t get sick!” The entire household’s delicate balance relies heavily on Mom’s ability to keep everything running. If she gets sick, it feels like the whole ship is going down.

If Mom typically stays home with the kids but is too unwell to manage, say, a baby and a toddler, it means Dad has to take a day off work to let Mom recuperate. Sounds reasonable, right? Not quite. Many dads decide to save their sick days for when they’re truly ill or when a “real” emergency arises. As a result, Mom is expected to tough it out through that awful stomach virus or fever while trying to keep her little ones entertained. The unfortunate truth is that television only captivates kids of a certain age, and even then, it’s hit or miss. My toddler can manage about ten minutes of Elmo before he’s off to explore the kitchen cabinets or, worse, attempting a “swirlie” in the toilet.

For those moms who work outside the home, the situation can become even more complicated. Many mothers don’t receive sick days due to being hourly workers or because their employers don’t offer them. Or like Dad, they prefer to save any sick leave for when the kids are sick and need to stay home from school, or when the babysitter calls off. While grandparents could theoretically step in, many moms, including myself, hesitate to expose our elderly parents to a viral disaster if we can avoid it.

In short, there are no sick days for moms. Last spring, an illness swept through my family, affecting each of us one after the other. We were all laid out for a week—first my older son, then my younger son, then Dad, and finally me. But when my turn came, there were still three other sick individuals needing care. Someone had to keep an eye on the kids when they became bored with TV, run to the pharmacy for more baby Motrin, and take them to the pediatrician when their fevers soared to 105.

My husband and I divided childcare based on our Tylenol intake. I’d take a dose to bring my fever down enough to function for a few hours, then he’d do the same. It was like “The Walking Dead,” but with kids. We couldn’t ask our sitters for help, fearing we’d pass the illness to them, and reaching out to family felt risky for the same reason.

What’s the answer? Honestly, I’m not sure. In the middle of a high fever and trying to care for a vomiting toddler, I found myself daydreaming about checking us all into a cozy clinic where friendly nurses would tend to us with ginger ale and broth. However, that remains a fantasy. When you’re a mom, there truly are no sick days.

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Summary

Moms often find themselves without sick days, as the family’s schedule heavily relies on them. When illness strikes, they are expected to power through, juggling caregiving while feeling unwell. The reality is that they can’t simply take a day off; the household dynamics depend on them. This challenging scenario highlights the need for support and understanding of the unique pressures mothers face.