When a child gets injured, parents typically hope for compassion and understanding from those around them. However, that’s not always the case. This was the experience of Jenna Lawson when she took her 4-year-old daughter to the emergency room for stitches after a boy at school hit her in the face.
At City Children’s Hospital, a staff member engaged with them about the incident. To Jenna’s shock, the employee remarked, “He probably likes you.” Unsurprisingly, Jenna was not happy with this comment. She took to her Facebook to express her frustration, highlighting how this kind of message suggests that “someone who likes you might hurt you.” She encouraged adults to be mindful of the implications behind such seemingly innocent comments.
Since Jenna’s post went viral, it has been shared nearly 20,000 times and received countless supportive responses. This resonates deeply with many parents, as many of us were told similar things during our childhood. I remember adults telling me that when a boy teased me or pulled my hair, it was because he had a crush on me. This confusing narrative made me feel as though I should appreciate even negative attention, which could be painful.
Furthermore, suggesting that a child was harmed because someone likes them shifts the blame away from the aggressor and creates a false narrative that such behavior is acceptable. Jenna was right to point out that the staff member likely didn’t think their comment through, but that doesn’t excuse the dangerous message being sent.
This mindset that “boys can’t control themselves” and that “girls should be thankful for male attention” contributes to a culture that normalizes aggression, harassment, and violence against women. Shockingly, the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence indicates that one in five tweens experience dating violence, with many young victims reporting verbal abuse in relationships. These early experiences can lead to long-term issues, including substance abuse and unhealthy behavior patterns.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, providing an opportunity for us to reflect on the words we use and the messages we convey. Let’s work together to teach young people that violence is not an expression of love or admiration. We can break the cycle of harmful myths surrounding aggression, harassment, and abuse.
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In summary, it’s crucial to be aware of the messages we send to children regarding bullying and aggression. We must encourage a culture that recognizes violence as unacceptable and promotes healthy relationships.