Why We Began Discussing Sexuality with Our 7-Year-Old

Recently, I attended a birthday celebration for two brothers—one celebrating his 8th birthday and the other turning 10. Most parents had happily left their kids behind, eager for a couple of hours of adult time on a Sunday afternoon. A few of us remained and struck up a conversation.

With our children nearing their tween years, I was eager to learn what questions kids were asking about sex. Were other families discussing this topic as openly as we were? The party had children ranging from 7 (my son’s age) to about 12, and I hoped that some of the more experienced parents could share insights. However, I was surprised to find that many parents expressed relief that they hadn’t yet encountered those questions, while others mentioned just buying a book on the subject. The parents of the 7-year-olds looked shocked when I revealed that, to my surprise, we were already having open discussions about sex at home.

So, why did we take this step? Here are my thoughts:

1. Learning from the Past

I believe my parents’ generation missed the mark when it came to sex education. Growing up in the ’80s, my parents didn’t say much until they realized puberty was approaching. They left a cartoonish book in my room, but by that time, I had already pieced together bits of information from various, often confusing, sources. I wanted to approach parenting differently—more openly and honestly.

2. Avoiding Teen Embarrassment

My parents struggled to discuss sex due to their discomfort. Waiting until I was a teenager meant I was too embarrassed to hear words like “penis” or “vagina” from them. Younger children, however, are naturally curious and can grasp information without feeling awkward.

3. Resources for Young Learners

There are many excellent books tailored for kids starting from age 4 up to 11. Young children are accustomed to engaging with books filled with illustrations, facts, and Q&A sections, while teens often feel lectured. A 7-year-old can absorb this information, ask follow-up questions, and then return to their games seamlessly.

4. Empowering Our Children

Knowledge about sex can give children a sense of power. Those who understand sexuality can better navigate playground politics and avoid being manipulated by misinformation. By demystifying the subject, we can help our kids shrug off any sexualized teasing from peers.

5. Curiosity Sparks Conversation

Every child is different, but my son was asking questions at age 7. After witnessing my second pregnancy when he was around 5, he wasn’t interested in babies, but his curiosity spiked with our third. This led to natural discussions about where babies come from.

6. Enjoying the Dialogue

His inquiries can be straightforward, leading him back to reading or playing. Other times, they’re more complex: “If you and dad have sex again, will the baby turn into twins?” or “What happens if you have sex too many times?” These conversations can be amusing and enlightening.

7. Ongoing Conversations

My parents believed in having “the Talk,” thinking it could be covered in one serious conversation. However, discussing sex encompasses much more than reproduction. It includes emotional changes, societal expectations, and relationship dynamics. I’m grateful that we initiated this dialogue early. It allows us to discuss the topic openly over the years, without discomfort.

In conclusion, I’m glad we started these conversations with our son. It’s become just another topic of discussion, fostering an environment where he can feel comfortable asking questions. For those interested in more resources, this article provides valuable insights, and this resource offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re curious about further reading, check out this blog post for more on the topic.